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eg8r
03-19-2003, 02:06 PM
This is the cleanest I have ever seen Dennis Miller. Not one single bad word. LOL

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Dennis Miller:</font><hr> THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY THIS "CLARIFICATION."

by DENNIS MILLER

ALL THE RHETORIC ON WHETHER OR NOT WE SHOULD GO TO WAR AGAINST IRAQ HAS GOT MY INSANE LITTLE BRAIN SPINNING LIKE A ROULETTE WHEEL. I ENJOY READING OPINIONS FROM BOTH SIDES BUT I HAVE DETECTED A HINT OF CONFUSION FROM SOME OF YOU.

AS I WAS READING THE PAPER RECENTLY, I WAS REMINDED OF THE BEST ADVICE SOMEONE EVER GAVE ME. HE TOLD ME ABOUT THE KISS
METHOD ("KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!) SO, WITH THIS AS A THEME, I'D LIKE TO APPLY THIS THEORY FOR THOSE WHO DON'T QUITE GET IT. MY HOPE IS THAT WE CAN SIMPLIFY THINGS A BIT AND RECOGNIZE A FEW IMPORTANT FACTS.

HERE ARE 10 THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN VOICING AN OPINION ON THIS IMPORTANT ISSUE:

1) BETWEEN PRESIDENT BUSH AND SADDAM HUSSEIN ... HUSSEIN IS THE BAD GUY.

2) IF YOU HAVE FAITH IN THE UNITED NATIONS TO DO THE RIGH! T THING KEEP THIS IN MIND, THEY HAVE LIBYA HEADING THE COMMITTEE ON HUMAN RIGHTS AND IRAQ HEADING THE GLOBAL DISARMAMENT COMMITTEE. DO YOUR OWN MATH HERE

3) IF YOU USE GOOGLE SEARCH AND TYPE IN "FRENCH MILITARY VICTORIES," YOUR REPLY WILL BE "DID YOU MEAN FRENCH MILITARY DEFEATS?"

4) IF YOUR ONLY ANTI-WAR SLOGAN IS "NO WAR FOR OIL," SUE YOUR SCHOOL DISTRICT FOR ALLOWING YOU TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS AND ROBBING YOU OF THE EDUCATION YOU DESERVE.

5) SADDAM AND BIN LADEN WILL NOT SEEK UNITED NATIONS APPROVAL BEFORE THEY TRY TO KILL US.

6) DESPITE COMMON BELIEF, MARTIN SHEEN IS NOT THE PRESIDENT. HE PLAYS ONE ON T.V.

7) EVEN IF YOU ARE ANTI-WAR, YOU ARE STILL AN "INFIDEL!" AND BIN LADEN WANTS YOU DEAD, TOO.

8) IF YOU BELIEVE IN A "VAST RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY" BUT NOT IN THE DANGER ! THAT HUSSEIN POSES, QUIT HANGING OUT WITH THE DELL
COMPUTER DUDE.

9) WE ARE NOT TRYING TO LIBERATE THEM.

10) WHETHER YOU ARE FOR MILITARY ACTION OR AGAINST IT, OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN OVERSEAS ARE FIGHTING FOR US TO DEFEND OUR RIGHT TO SPEAK OUT. WE ALL NEED TO SUPPORT THEM WITHOUT RESERVATION. <hr /></blockquote>

eg8r

Harold Acosta
03-22-2003, 09:36 PM
My opinion on Dennis Miller: (emulating the Taco Bell dog)

Oh great! A talking a$$hole!

eg8r
03-22-2003, 10:59 PM
Oh Harold. Really, how do you feel?

eg8r

nAz
03-23-2003, 12:58 PM
More Miller:

Isn't it great we live in a country where a Federal Appeals Court can declare the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional because the words "under God" are a violation of separation of church and state? Well, you know something, your honors: following that logic, wouldn't the fact that you were sworn in with your hand on a Bible render you unemployed? Or maybe we should respond by withholding your obviously unconstitutional "In God we trust" paychecks, huh? Or why don't we just change the phrase to "One nation under a crushing blanket of overly sensitive political correctness?"

If you haven't heard, Michael Newdow, a 49-year old atheist, created a media sensation this week after bringing a lawsuit on behalf of his 8-year old daughter. Well, Mikey, you did a great job of protecting your kid, didn't ya? Put her in the middle of this jingoistic maelstrom. Yeah, you are the dad of the year. Why don't you pick your trophy up when it's safe to come out of hiding?

By the way, to all the people out there making death threats against this man and his daughter: if God had wanted you to kill in His name, you'd be living in the Middle East, not the Midwest.

Well, anyway, it's good to know that all children are now guaranteed the right to come into their classroom in the morning and burn the flag, as long as they don't salute it.

You know folks, I haven't quite figured out the math on this one yet, but I think the aggrieved minority in this culture now is the majority.

And, by the way, to the two judges who authored this fiasco: instead of church and state, maybe you should be worried about the separation of your head and your butt.