View Full Version : Great minds speak on the French....

03-19-2003, 02:24 PM


Great Minds Speak on the French :

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
---- Marge Simpson

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."

--Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"

--Rep. Roy Blunt

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq. What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"

--Dennis Miller

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
---Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."

--- Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."

---P.J. O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people."
--Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"

---Jay Leno

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."

--Rep. R. Blount

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."

--David Letterman

"My favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is the one that says 'First Iraq, then France'."

--Tom Brokaw

"The heaviest cross I had to bear was the Cross of Lorraine"

---Winston Churchill


France announced today that it plans to permanently ban fireworks at Euro Disney following last night's fireworks display that caused soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to surrender.

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French.

Q. Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?
A. Germans like to march in the shade.

Saddam Hussein phoned President George W. Bush. "I had a dream about the United States," he said. "I could see the whole country, and over every building and home was a banner," said Saddam.

"What was on the banner?" asked Mr. Bush.

"LONG LIVE SADDAM!" answered the dictator.

"I'm so glad that you called," said President Bush, "because I too had a dream.

In my dream, I saw Iraq and it was more beautiful than ever; totally rebuilt with many tall, gleaming office buildings, large residential subdivisions with swimming pools in every yard; and over every building and home was a big, beautiful


"What did the banner say?" asked Saddam.

"I don't know," answered President Bush, "I can't read Hebrew."

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03-19-2003, 02:47 PM
Picking on the French is alot more fun than picking on a tough country.


03-19-2003, 04:25 PM
LOL, tough or not, the French history makes it all too easy.


03-19-2003, 05:21 PM
Their small and stupid, with that combination their setting themselves up to get picked on, plus it's just fun picking on someone smaller than you /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

03-20-2003, 01:17 AM
Due to the fact that many people are now boycotting French products, here are some new alternatives to expressions in common usage in the English language, to ease our transition through the defrenchification of American society.

1. agent provocateur: troublemaker
2. à la mode: Ice cream on it.
3. avant-garde: just plain weird stuff
4. bon vivant: party animal
5. concierge: actor
6. cul-de-sac: you are going to have to turn around
7. déjà vu: Been there, done that
8. eau de toilette: The toilet is overflowing!
9. faux: cheap, i.e. I don't have money faux a real diamond, so, I got you this fetching cubic zirconia.
10.faux pas: Step-father
11.haute cuisine: Looks good, but what the hell is it?
12.hors d'oeuvre: appetizers you are not paying for
13.laissez faire: Butt out
14.maître d': actor
15.matinée: afternoon delight
16.RSVP has always meant Répondez, s'il vous plaît, now it will mean "Responding seems very polite..."