View Full Version : Whats the Crappiest Table you've played on

03-21-2002, 10:15 AM
I haven't played on any old tables but a spin off of Tom's question, I have played on some shitty ones. Around campus we have some horrible tables. One we have is loppsided, felt is all the different colors of the rainbow, felt torn to shreds, rails rattle when you hit them, stables sticking out of the sides(i've torn my pants on them more than once). I just wondered what kind of horror stories people have.

03-21-2002, 12:39 PM
I can put a couple tables on that list. I used to play on a table in Key West that was in a bar located on a pier. It had no windows. When they opened they had big plywood panels they propped up with 2x4s and the wind would blow in right off the ocean. The humidity was always 100% in there. You could not draw the cueball an inch. The balls were so dirty it was hard to read the numbers. On two sides of the table your cue went out the windows when you stroked. I might also mention many of the customers looked like pirates and wore big knives. Still, on weekends guys would be in there playing $20 to $100 a game. I used to drive 200 miles each way to play in this place. The second worst place was a gay bar called the Inferno I used to play in. This was when Disco was big and the table was on the edge of the dance floor. There was no light directly over the table just the light from the rest of the room. When the DJ was on there were lights spinning all over the room. Sometimes he would hit the strobe effect just as you were shooting a shot and you would miss by a foot. Nevertheless this place had action and I would go there at least once a week. The best player there was a female impersonator who often played in a dress. Sometimes you would be playing Judy Garland or Carroll Channing. I had this place locked up. No other players would go there to play no matter how much action it had. You can add to that a thousand bars with some of the worst equipment you could imagine and guys that made up the rules as they went along and sometimes you did not get paid, but were allowed to live. I sometimes think about it when I read what players write on here in regard to petty rule discrepancies and cloth or pockets, or somebody moved when they were shooting or something. If they went on the road, they would run home screaming for their mothers.

03-21-2002, 01:51 PM
I was peacefully reading your post when I read <blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>The best player there was a female impersonator who often played in a dress. Sometimes you would be playing Judy Garland or Carroll Channing.<hr></blockquote> unfortunately and worse luck I was drinking coffee at the time. Thanks to you my friend the keyboard is now upside down draining. By all means be more careful with your posts would you please. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

03-21-2002, 04:01 PM
Qguy, after reading your post it reminded me of a table down in Elgolfo Mexico. I don't remember the name, but it was near the beach and in about the same condition. No ocean waves come in however. The beer stains made a lasting impression. If you shot to soft the c/b might stick to the o/b!
My lady friends did drag me into a gay bar similar to the one you mentioned. They had what was called " The 5 Star Review". Now I felt out of place there, but it was hilarious at times. Two of the Female impersonators played a little but did not gamble. Yes it had their Carol's and Judy's and much much more. I've played on better tables no doubt but this wasn't real bad. I'm glad they took me in though because the money was good and no real pool player went in there, except me. "We" went back several times until it died out.
I might complain about table conditions today sometimes, but nothing else as petty as you mentioned. Getting out with both cheeks was good enough. After all that's happened it makes playing today seem like a walk in the park.
Playing on the road is an advanced lesson in concentration.
I had a fire cracker go off right behind me during a stroke on the nine ball, it went dead in the hole. I just rolled the balls to the other end like nothing happened. There was always a test of some kind.

03-21-2002, 10:58 PM
Yeah no kidding...the Judy Garland image wasn't so bad, but the Carol Channing picture blew out my spleen.

03-21-2002, 11:38 PM
I played on some tables in MT kisco NY where the corners were sharp and when u had to stretch for shot against these corners they were bruising you. When u finished playing there u were black and blue and hurting.

03-22-2002, 11:42 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Q-guy:</font><hr> The best player there was a female impersonator who often played in a dress. Sometimes you would be playing Judy Garland or Carroll Channing. <hr></blockquote>

That is just too funny.

Coincidentally, I was playing Peggy Lee a straight pool match one time. I ran my usual 4 balls and dogged an easy one. She looked at me and said "Is that all there is?" /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif