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04-15-2003, 12:14 PM
http://mobile.theonion.com/news1.html

The Onion | 4/9/2003



Bush Subconsciously Sizes Up Spain For Invasion


WASHINGTON, DC–During a White House meeting with visiting Spanish
prime minister and fellow allied-forces leader Jose Maria Aznar,
President Bush subconsciously sized up Spain for invasion Monday.

"Aznar was pledging his ongoing support for the Iraqi war effort when,
out of nowhere, this odd look came across George's face," National
Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice said. "He sat quiet for a moment,
like he was going to say something, but then he just shook his head as
if to chase the thought away."

At the meeting, Aznar ruled out sending Spanish combat troops to Iraq
but pledged to provide a hospital vessel, a mine-clearing unit, a team
of chemical-detection experts, and several oil tankers.

"And you have no nuclear weapons, right?" Bush asked Aznar. "And no
chemical or biological weapons or anything like that? Just curious."

Aznar also promised that if Iraq attacks neighboring Turkey, he would
contribute six F-18 warplanes, a Hercules C-130 refueling plane, and a
search-and-rescue helicopter.

"The Hercules C-130," said Bush, staring off into the distance. "Those
are pretty old. Hmm."

As the conversation turned toward the siege of Baghdad, Bush
interrupted and returned to the subject of Spain's military
strength–or lack thereof.

"So, all in all, your country has 105,000 standing troops total?" Bush
said. "That's it?"

Aznar later told Bush that Spain's King Juan Carlos sent his
greetings, once again piquing the president's interest.

"It seems a bit outdated to have a king," Bush said. "Are your people
happy with him? Do you think your people would rather rule themselves,
like in a democracy?"

Aznar explained that Spain is a constitutional monarchy.

"The prime minister must be approved by our legislature," Aznar told
Bush. "You see, each of our autonomous regions has its own regional
government and exercises legislative and executive authority in the
manner outlined by the national constitution."

Bush then asked about Spain's longstanding troubles with separatist
groups.

"That situation with the Catalans and the Basques," Bush said. "How
serious is that?"

When Aznar inquired as to why Bush was asking, the president said he
"was just wondering, for no reason."

"There was something strange about his questions, although I cannot
put my finger on it," Aznar said. "And he seemed very excited about
the anti-government protests in Madrid a few days ago, until I told
him they were protesting our involvement in the Iraq war."

Secretary of State Colin Powell, who was in attendance, also noticed
some unusual behavior on the part of Bush.

"During the meeting, the president was absentmindedly doodling on some
documents, one of which had a map of Europe on it," Powell said. "I
noticed he drew a series of arrows originating on the Canary Islands
and moving in toward Madrid."

Powell recalled that during last month's summit in the Azores, Bush
seemed oddly fixated on Spain.

"[Bush] said Spain didn't seem to be all that prosperous for a nation
whose main export is oil," Powell said. "I told him Spain doesn't
produce a lot of oil. Finally, we figured he must've been thinking of
olive oil, and we both had a big laugh about it."

Powell said that upon returning home from the Azores summit, Bush
continued to insist that "there is some big oil-producing nation that
speaks Spanish."

"I told him he must be thinking of Venezuela," Powell said. "They are
very rich in oil. So now he wants a full report on Venezuela by
Monday. Ever since this war with Iraq, he's been a real geography
buff."

nAz
04-15-2003, 03:26 PM
ahhh the Onion some great article on that web site lol

"[Bush] said Spain didn't seem to be all that prosperous for a nation
whose main export is oil," Powell said. "I told him Spain doesn't
produce a lot of oil. Finally, we figured he must've been thinking of
olive oil, and we both had a big laugh about it."

Powell said that upon returning home from the Azores summit, Bush
continued to insist that "there is some big oil-producing nation that
speaks Spanish."

"I told him he must be thinking of Venezuela," Powell said. "They are
very rich in oil. So now he wants a full report on Venezuela by
Monday. Ever since this war with Iraq, he's been a real geography
buff."

lol

rrmgin
04-16-2003, 12:37 PM
Yeah, sounds just believable enough I suppose /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif. Since risking the millions of inhabitants of Seoul is a non-starter, I say lets take the Azores and the Bahamas on the troops' way home. We can sure expand our vacation possibilities that do not require a passport, LOL.