View Full Version : Spouse or Pool ?
a friend of mine, just called to tell me he wanted to come over and shoot some pool at 8:30am in the morning and i asked are you ok, he said his girlfriend broke up with him because he spends to much time at the poolhall, lol but instead of him trying to get back with her, he wanted to shoot some more pool. so my question is has anyone ever had someone leave them over pool. i know women require attn, but to leave your man over pool is a bit extreme. so does this really happen or was this just in his case.
My last girlfriend left me because of it. I still managed to spend 5 or 6 nights per week with her. I did however make a mistake. I was supposed to meet her at 10 p.m. one night to watch a movie. Well I was matched up and having fun and I called, at 10 at 11 and at 12. I showed up around 1:30 and she was fine then but I think that part of my lifestyle ate her up and that did it.
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I called, at 10 at 11 and at 12. I showed up around 1:30 <hr /></blockquote>
Lamo, that's rude. unfortunately i dont have a woman so am cool. but when i get one am sure i'll come across these problems.
9 Ball Girl
05-01-2003, 06:58 AM
I made the mistake 3 years into a relationship that I was in back in the early 90s and stopped playing pool all together cause the BF didn't like it that that's all I wanted to do. We lasted 5 more years, we broke up, and I started pool again. See it's the opposite here, he needed the attention. LOL Oh yeah, then, according to him, got painful flashbacks when he accompanied me to VA last year because all I wanted to do was be around pool. Like, is there anything else? /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif
Wendy<---do I spend too much time in a poolroom? Hell No! There just ain't enuf time! /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
05-01-2003, 07:09 AM
This is an axiom of pool: "Your passion for pool is directly proportional to domestic disorder". This commotion and agitation in the passionate pool players life cannot be avoided. There is an urban myth of a player who once stated that his home life was peachy but soon turned up missing and hasn't been seen since.......LOL
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i know women require attn, but to leave your man over pool is a bit extreme. <hr /></blockquote> Don't you think she might have thought his pool playing was extreme?
I do not think your friend was really interested in her or he would have done what he could to get her back. I personally try to not place anything before my wife except the God that I serve. Pool comes in 5th. Right after work and the rest of my family. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
05-01-2003, 07:30 AM
If my girlfriend didn't keep me in line, I'd probably spend every minute outside of work at the pool hall, and the rest of my life would swiftly deteriorate.
I *think* I'm better off this way. Not sure though. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif
05-01-2003, 07:32 AM
I'll almost bet odds that 50% of us who have been on this billiard treadmill for 2 or more years who do NOT currently have a bf or gf, WOULD if this game wasn't in the way. And yet I'll add that if it wasn't pooll, the opposite sex would find something to get jealous and possessive against. Pool simply grasps our time, and yes we linger. I'd do things differently if the clock was rewound and the GF was in my life, but it would be an agreement that I'd be someplace when I said I would be,,,not that I would cut my pool out...sid~~~too stubborn for his own good
05-01-2003, 07:35 AM
My wife told me if I didn't give up pool she would leave me. I'm going to miss her!
Ok, I know it's an old joke. Sorry! Truth of the matter, when we were dating, I took her to one of the Camel tour events for the weekend. She understood very quickly in the relationship that pool was important. Now she plays on 2 of my teams, helps me run the pro shop, and is getting ready to work with me to start up an amateur tour in the area. She even had my wedding ring custome made with a 9-ball rack on top of it. I guess I got real lucky!
man, if i got as lucky as you did, i'd never leave and i would also be the happiest man alive, but every woman i meet seems to hate pool, except for my x from 3yrs ago she used to come over just to shoot pool, i honestly believe that's what kept us together, but all good things come and end. her new bf had a pool table to. and their still together, figure that one, man that hurts she could have been mine. damn
I have just a little trouble with the whole "my gf hates pool." In my past relationships, none of the girls that I dated "enjoyed" playing when it was just her and I. I am a slow learner however, but I have learned this, my wife does not mind coming to the pool hall if there are others for her to interact with.
The problem with most of the people here is that once you get to the pool hall, you try to focus your attention on the game, and that leaves little room for your SO. At this point they are probably getting bored and looking for others things to do.
I lucked out when I moved here to Tx and I met rackmup and onepocketchamp. Heather enjoys hanging out at the pool hall when I play them because they chat and enjoy her company also. While I am playing they are talking and so on. My suggestion is, if you do find a woman bring her to the pool hall and see if there are any people there she might be compatible with, i.e. another players gf or wife. At this point, your SO will have someone to hang out with while you play pool. Also, I tend to make sure the other free time we have is doing something she enjoys.
This is not the correct answer for all problems, but just a little info on what has worked for me.
05-01-2003, 08:14 AM
I look for girls that hang around pool halls /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif The pickin's are slim.
05-01-2003, 08:33 AM
To me it sounds like there are some other underling issues here that we don't know about.As far as girlfriends go I wouldn't know about that being married for 30 yrs.I can tell you from experience that it's not easy,to juggle your time around, and keep the family happy.The only time I really have for pool playing is Saturday afternoon's and it took awhile for my wife to adjust to that.Now if I tell her that I'll be home on Saturday, she say's don't mess up my plans ha-ha.Anyway I alway's put the family first and will ask my wife if there are any plans for let's say friday night and if she say's no I go out and play after work for awhile.If someone doesn't want to compromise there time, they should stay single and unattached because, in my opinion that's what relationship's are all about.
i agree with you, but theirs a difference between " Compromising " and " Being Changed ". comprimising is working with your spouse vice versa. Being Changed is someone male or female trying to make you into what they want you to be. Now some men can deal with that and do as asked by their women, but if your a real man like me, i'll take back where i met ya.
<--recently got married (last weekend), but I have been living with my wife for over 3 years now. Pool is a major role in my life during the winter, as golf is in the summer along with softball. Compromise is #1, but you also are changed, no matter how you look at it. Prior to my relationship with my wife, I was out 5 nights a week all year long with some sort of activity: pool tourneys, ring games, softball, golf, or just hanging at a bar/pool hall playin some pool. If it had beer, free pool, or some action I was there. My wife understands that pool is a major activity that I enjoy and want to get better at. So I am now limited to 2 nights a week guaranteed, but sometimes I can stretch a 3rd depending on the weekend plans and significance of the event. Would I enjoy more nights out, of course, but I also realize the importance of meeting her needs and my family's needs as well. Is pool an issue between us, I think it is, but we work on it.
I had to remind her last night after golf league, what the pastor said during the ceromoney about: being one, but yet still keeping that individuality!
I love my pool, golf, bowling, and softball along with other activities, but I love my wife more! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif (kinda wishes she would read that line) /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif
Usually, your posts come off very negative to me for some reason, but this was an excellent post and one that I identify with a lot.
This is the reason I had problems with my SO when I started playing in pool leagues. I would totally zone her out. However, since I joined my new team, some of my team members bring their wives/husbands with them too. This helps a LOT. Especially when/if we get together on weekends to practice. Now when I ask her if she wants to go to the pool-hall, her first question is wether So and so's wife is going to be there /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
However, I ALWAYS ask her now. She likes that, it makes her feel like I want her there, which I do, of course... :P
P.S. - This also holds true for bringing friends into leagues with me. I have lost a couple friends as pool buddies because they didn't understand my intense concentration on the match/game at hand. When I go to the pool hall, I like to socialize, talk, laugh it up. But not while I'm shooting. I draw a clear line and let people know when they're stepping over it. Sometimes that offends folks, but I have to do it to get in the zone. I can't be holding three conversations while trying to play a match. My mind is between the rails. If you have something to say to me, it had better be a suggestion on what I should do with that safety my opponent is about to leave me! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
05-01-2003, 11:01 AM
You said that very well! I can see you and your wife having many wonderful years together. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
When I got bit by the pool bug 12 years ago, it was just for a little bar league in my area. But I still had to practice and I would go to a pool hall during lunch to do this. When I got started in the Semi-Pro tour, I needed more practice and would go play on Saturdays and occasionally play hooky from work. Sure, my husband got a little jealous that I suddenly had this extra curricular activity with other people that he didn't. But he had his wood shop and I encouraged him to expand that.
However, he translated the encouragement as "spend money". So when I kicked him and his wood shop out of the basement for my pool room, he did exactly that and filled his new wood shop with all kinds of "toys". Then he discovered a renewed interest in woodworking and is turning some stunning objects.
The bottom line is, if you're a pool player and you want to have a relationship with a non-pool playing person, you have to have respect for their interests and they'll have respect for yours. A little compromise goes a long way.
Barbara~~~encouraged Pete to upgrade our "newer" sailboat and you just won't believe what that boy bought last week... /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
05-01-2003, 11:15 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr> Then he discovered a renewed interest in woodworking and is turning some stunning objects.<hr /></blockquote>
Do we have a new custom cue maker on the horizon? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
That would combine your hobby and his. How sweet! /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif
05-01-2003, 11:27 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rich R.:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr> Then he discovered a renewed interest in woodworking and is turning some stunning objects.<hr /></blockquote>
Do we have a new custom cue maker on the horizon? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
That would combine your hobby and his. How sweet! /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif <hr /></blockquote>
Nooooooooooooooooo!!!! He turns wood to relax. Making cues would stress him out! /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
05-01-2003, 11:40 AM
I must be lucky and dont know it. My wife actually likes to play but she gives me ulcers watching her play at times. She dont mind when i go after work to play either so i got no complaints.
Well, having been married for 10 years and single for the last 2, I've decided that there isn't room in my pool playing endeavors for a new relationship.
Ironically, about the only thing me and the ex. did together was play pool. WHen 1 of us asked thee other, "do you want to go do something?" The result was always the same. We'd be bent over a pool table. ((That's really the only thing I miss about him.))
If/when I do decide to get involved with someone again, HE MUST have the same or greater love for pool as myself. Nothing less would work. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif
I didnt want to use the quotations from your post...but the "bent" part was slightly intriguing...another bad boy thought at work. Cheers!
05-01-2003, 02:20 PM
lol, i have a friend that will shoot one or two games, he gf will look at him and say she's bored, and they leave. i would smack her personnaly but hey.
luckily me and my gf have an understanding. she loves basketball, so when she plays i either dont go or sit quietly in the crowd. when i play pool, she has yet to go but doesnt care about it. she understands its my passion and that she would be more of a distraction than a help. so i feel pretty lucky
I have another possible solution to the problem -- work nights!
Then you get to play all day while your spouse is at work. Only problem I've got with this setup, which has worked fine for last 5 years, is that I don't know of any pool halls that have day care. Come October there will be twin terrors I'll have to tote around all day.
As for bringing your gf/bf along, I can't see how it would work if they're not a serious player. Endless distractions otherwise, like Aboo said. Reminds me of scraps I've had with my wife at the track. It's 20 mins to post, and I'm feverishly scanning the past performances and she's saying, "Can I look at your Racing Form?" I say, "Huh, what, what? ... I'll get you a program if you don't have one." "But can't we SHARE?" /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif
Good luck not losing your a$$ in that situation, right, or on the table if she's just, er, a ball buster.
05-01-2003, 03:33 PM
I'm married 16 years and while we were dating, I'd take her along to leagues. She understood that this was/is a part of me. She has never tried to change that. She plays for fun but not good enough for leagues. I once had a girl who felt I loved my sports car(1960 corvette) more than her and eventually left. Actually she was right. She was only good for one thing and it wasn't conversation.
wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean know what I mean
sheesh, i pray that i come across a woman who understand my love for pool, because i'd hate to waste all that invested time just for her to leave me over pool. damn baby work with me !
05-01-2003, 11:48 PM
I can't say that my last wife and I broke up over my pool playing, but I'm sure that it figured into the mix. She resented my going out and playing league a couple nights a week. Even when I cut back to one night a week, I could tell she was still resentful. Girl friends either like pool or move on, and I'm okay with that. Girl friends aren't that hard to come by, and aren't nearly as expensive to part with. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
05-02-2003, 12:42 AM
Barbara, Sailing eh...an old passion of mine...crewed one summer and we sailed on down to Newport for the America cup races..that was when America owned the America cup..batten the hatches, reef the sails..full steam ahead ( I learned all this from watching Ens. Pulver in "Mr.Roberts")
Stick said it best.....
"Girl friends aren't that hard to come by, and aren't nearly as expensive to part with."
I also liked...
"damn. baby work with me"
You both make valid points or else I wouldn't be here! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
to ladies reading this post who do not like or love pool / billiards or that game where the balls roll around the table. and to the fellas, who think their being neglected your women are not flirting cheating, trust me i know, i've tired to get'em.
so can't we all just get along. we like pool and you like what you like.
see how happy we are now. great
05-02-2003, 05:32 AM
IMO, a healthy couple does things together and sometihgs separately too. Think about so many who have a night out with the boys or cases where the women have a night out with the girls.
While not directly related to pool, the concept is similar. I knew a guy who was 'really' into this particular organization. His wife did not understand or like it. They came up with a compromise. He did his special thing with his org and the rest of the time at home.
I am very fortunate to have a spouse who loves pool, probably more than I do because he is soooo much better.He also does not mind if I got out a night to do something else or vice versa.
I have got a very good guy.!!!
05-02-2003, 05:53 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote NBC-BOB:</font><hr> To me it sounds like there are some other underling issues here that we don't know about.The only time I really have for pool playing is Saturday afternoon's and it took awhile for my wife to adjust to that.Now if I tell her that I'll be home on Saturday, she say's don't mess up my plans ha-ha.Anyway I alway's put the family first and will ask my wife if there are any plans for let's say friday night and if she say's no I go out and play after work for awhile.If someone doesn't want to compromise there time, they should stay single and unattached because, in my opinion that's what relationship's are all about. <hr /></blockquote>
Why not discuss it and set up specific times for pool with the understanding that if there is a crisis, you dont play.
Something for us came up like that yesterday. I had a very bad day yesterday due to some medical issues and dumb doctors. WW said he was going to stay home with me rather than play league, because I came before pool.
I said no, considering the day I had , I thought it was better for me to get out with people and also the league needs him. They always play him. He is the only seven. Well, funny thing is they played me instead of him.
If a spouse or so will not LET the other one do an activity they love, there are issues for sure.
05-02-2003, 09:59 AM
Although we have a table at home, my wife does not play. She has watched me all of one match back in '89. I lost. She's never even considered watching me again. I've played league pool since '88. She's never come with me. Even the banquets, she's never come. Not that she wouldn't, but it's not her world. Even though she's friends with some of my pool playing friends, it's just not her world.
She new from the beginning that what I am, who I am, is pool related. I think and breathe pool. Although my interest has waned from one side to another, it's still all about pool. She's encouraged aspects of my pool addiction (no Fast Larry, I am not glorifying drugs).
There is some kind of sharing, however. Because of her art background, it intrigued her when I bought my first fancy case and fancy cue. She wants to design one for me. She's also the decorator for my pool room, if that ever comes to fruition.
Hope this helps, but I seriously doubt it.
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