View Full Version : Something I needed to say

John G
05-07-2003, 01:07 PM
For quite a long time I would read the posts and replies on this board and I really enjoyed them. For the most part I still do. I have a great deal of time on my hands and my computer is where I spend a good deal of my time. I've frequented, I believe all of posting boards, and I found this to be by far the most interesting.

I spent a good deal of my life trusting my instincts about the character of people. Many times my survival depended upon it. As I read the messages and your responces to each other, many times I thought these are the type of people I would like be friends with.

And so I registered and began posting. I have always tried to be polite and helpful. I went back and reread my posts to see if I might have offended anyone and with the exception of Fred Agnir I don't believe I have. As to Fred, in my state of mind that day I thought it was a joke. The following day I realized it wasn't funny and I sent an apoligy to Fred. Someone on this board suggested to another that they should read net etiquette but I think that the people that need to read it have never done so.

I've been through more in the last 13 years then many of you could see in 2 lifetimes. And I suppose because of this I see life differently then most. I think Chris Cass will understand. He'll probably find a change in priorities and humor in things he before would take to serious. That's what happens when we are faced with our own mortality.

It's a metamorphos. With each time a new realisation. The first time you place a much higher value on your life and how you will treat it. The second time you are faced with this (mortality) you place a much higher value on those around you because you finally recognise how precious and frail life trully is. But the third time, That's the best, because you finally begin to see the humor and the absurdities of life. You see the silliness of it all and you find it quite easy to laugh at yourself and with and about others.

Which brings me to my final point. It seems the board has changed. It's not a very friendly place anymore. It's clicky and closed and many times mean. And though there are still some I would enjoy meeting and speaking with ( even the guy I argued with about tips /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif) but some of you others, I've found you to be quite small and shallow. For those I wouldn't rise and cross the room to meet you. I've not deluded myself into believing that anyone cares about what I've said, nor will it make any difference, it's just that I felt a need to express this.

To Chriss Cass I'm very happy to see you doing well. I wish you continued healing and a long and healthy life. Oh! And get to playing well again, I'd like to hit some with you someday.

Kind regards to all, John Gardner

05-07-2003, 01:29 PM

I always read your posts and have found them to be informative and insightful.

As far as that other stuff, I just try to ignore those who are mean or disrespectful, or I report them to the moderator /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif.

You take care now

Wally in the Natti~~class snitch /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

05-07-2003, 03:07 PM
Some people are friendly, some aren't. I'd like to meet some, and some I wouldn't walk across the room to meet. I try to be decent to everyone for the most part, but I figure I'm not supposed to like everyone. It's no different whether it's here on the forum, at the poolhall, or any other place people gather. Like you, I still find this one to be the best. I think you might be on to something with the mortality thing. I have a good number of health problems and have had a few close calls myself. That and the natural mellowing with age deminishes the importance of sweating the small stuff. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif


05-07-2003, 07:42 PM
This board is like a lot of others; it is cyclical. Look back to a time before last years US OPEN. A lot of friendships were made, plans finalized and meeting arrangements confirmed.

At the OPEN, strangers became friends, the unknown faces became suddenly recognizable and the everlasting bonds of friendship were formed.

Then...another cycle. The "regulars" had things happening in their lives...Kato meets a woman. Chris gets ill. "Mean" (could have used another term but it wouldn't have been very Christian-like) people show up and attempt to turn the CCB upside-down.

Arguments began, fires of obscenity and hatred were fueled by equally combustable responses. It was what the strangers wanted...to unsettle the settled. To rock the once smooth sailing ship.

Cycle again. The CCB Admin stepped in and kicked the malcontents out. The ship now feels steady again...only a minor ripple in the water from time-to-time.

But don't get too comfortable in that LazyBoy just yet. It could be days or weeks, I don't know but I do know that just about the time you get cozy and comfy, that little thing that keeps the recliner from falling all the way back will give way and the next thing you know, some new poster will have you laying on your noggin wondering what the hell happened.

Yep. Another cycle.



05-07-2003, 07:47 PM
Who is this nice guy?! Somebody check Ken's car trunk soon to see of the seed pod is splitting open ;-) sid~~~jus' funnin'

05-08-2003, 09:32 AM

Thank-you for saying what you felt like you needed to say.That took courage.

As far as going into that black pit, it does change a person. I have been there too. It changes one's priorities. Someone who had cancer told me that during that time, when she did not know if she would get well or die, and many of her so-called friends abandoned her, colors actually looked brighter. She was a conquerer and will be 79 in June. We have both been in that pit many times. It is true, not only do your priorities change but the absurdities of life become very funny and things that use to make a person mad, do not anymore.

Now I do throw temper tantrums at my pool but then laugh. One time my malamute got away from me. My siberian was only 4 months old. I was runniing at break speed to catch the mal. When I finally caught up with him, I could not stop and fell right on top of him and the sibe on top of me. It was hilarious to me. I could tell stories about things that are hilarious to me but they aren't to others so I do not tell most of them. But, I am sure you know what I mean.

As far as the people on ccb, I used to be very niave and expected everyone to be honest, nice , capable of deep friendships etc. It took many years to learn that this just is not so. There are different levels of trust, different levels of friendship, different levels of depth.

It is not that people are intentionally shallow or dishonest or whatever. I believe that the person is what they are. period. Like the old saying: I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, you are not in this world to live up to mine, if by chance we find each other, it is beatiful.

It is about not expecting persons to be other than what they are. It is about 'live and let live'. It is about acceptance. Take what you value in a person and benefits you, discard the rest. But expecting a person to be what they are not, as I did in the past (and still occasionally slip) is a set up for hurt and for playing the role of a victim.


05-08-2003, 12:49 PM
Thanks for letting everyone know how you feel John, IMO most of the people here on the CCB are nice, sociable people here. There are only a rare few people that come across as flat out rude and we know who they are. I think it's great when a good debate starts up such as what is the best kind of table just for an example, the only problem is that sometimes things get out of hand.

I will flat out admit that I have gotten carried away before, just about everybody does this sometimes and it's inevitable (sp?). Thankfully, others step in and tell you to give your head a shake and things return to normal. What I'm getting at is the fact that there will always be someone here that is rude, I still think the board is a friendly place you just have to block some people out and continue on like you normally would.

Just my thoughts,