View Full Version : after being sentenced to 90 days in jail

07-15-2003, 10:22 AM
Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): Can I address the
Judge: Of course.
Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?
Judge: I'd hold you in contempt and assess an additional five days in jail.
Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a bitch?
Judge: I can't do anything about that. There's no law against thinking.
Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a bitch.

07-15-2003, 01:46 PM
Worse has been said in court. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

True story about a guy who used to hang in the same poolhall I did. He got in some trouble and was brought before the court. He pled guilty and was getting sentenced on a misdemeanor. The judge started saying something and he said something smart back. It was about in October or early November. So the judge asked if he'd like to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas in jail. He replied sarcastically that he would love it. Saw him in the pool hall in January. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

07-15-2003, 03:05 PM
Q. What do you say to a pool player who's wearing a coat and tie?

A. Thirty days or thirty dollars.

07-15-2003, 10:33 PM
My favorite line is from the movie The Brinks Job. two guys are in front of this judge waiting to be sentenced for all kinds of thievery. The judge looks at them and says 20 years hard labor. The one guy looks at the judge and says " Your honor, i cant do no 20 years".
The judge looks back and says " Well do as much as you can, son". /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif