View Full Version : The Stella Awards

08-03-2003, 07:41 AM
My atty. friend, a pretty good one-pocket player, sent me this ( I know 3 lawyers, and they all play one-pocket...there must be some kind of sinister connection)

This is Amazing! Simply Amazing..........

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella

The Stellas are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who
spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald 's.
That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United States.

Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's
(the teens who allege that eating at McDonald 's has made them fat)
was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top
the 2003 awards list without question.

5th place (Tied) A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of
Austin Texas $780,000 after she broke her ankle tripping over a
toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the
store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.

5th place (Tied) 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a
Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was
someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied) Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a
house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not
able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener
was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a
large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming
the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000.

4th place Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500
and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door
neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had
climbed over the fence into the yard , was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet gun.

3rd place A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink
and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier
during an argument.

2nd place Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room
to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and
dental expenses.

1st place This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new
Winnebago motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game,
having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and
calmly left the driver 's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup
of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual
that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus
a new Winnebago motor home. The company actually changed its manuals
on the basis of this suit, just in case there were other complete morons
buying its recreation vehicles.

....amazing, simply amazing!

May we always be surrounded with love, laughter as we find news ways to screw everyone

08-03-2003, 09:49 AM
You must be making this up . Please , tell me that you are .

If a jury awards a man who thinks his camper is going to steer on automatic , then I am stunned and amazed !
This just shows that some people who are on dury duty should not be allowed on the street because they are a danger to themselves and everyone who comes into contact with them. These are almost always considered to be model citizens . I have one excellent example .

The next step will be is to put notices on buildings warning people not to jump off the roof !

Has nobody ever heard of common sense ?

Does everything have to be labled with a warning telling you not to do anything stupid . eg old lady dry's off her poodle in the microwave !

Is there no end to this insanity ?


08-03-2003, 10:09 AM
If you want to rag on the United States all you need do is just observe the "justice" system. It may be better than many other countries which is really frightening. This is a police state only most people don't realize it yet. If you are part of the system you can get away with almost anything if you are just a little bit discrete. Nevertheless there are many who call it the best system in the world and they may have a point. Pretty sad.

08-03-2003, 10:26 AM

It's a joke. Just type in the name of the guy who thought his motorhome had autopilot into any search engine and this post will pop up.

Funny, nonetheless.



08-03-2003, 10:42 AM
Maybe its not the worst , by no means is it the best .

I saw Michael Moore come to an execution in Texas ,with cheer leaders and a brass band , and the people who were outside the prison there for the execution lapped it up , I was almost sick .


Votes count , people dont .

08-03-2003, 10:57 AM
Ken, I'm not joking. I've seen what the justice system can do to people. Especially when a lying female finds a sympathetic judge.

How many cops did you know who were worse than most of the criminals? Perhaps you were not high enough in the system to be privy to what went on.

I've seen what a lying cop and a lying wife can do to an innocent person. 19 years sentence after being stalked by the cops and the wife. A town where the cops are so crooked that an attorney will tell you not to ever drive through the town. And this is Connecticut, not Texas.

08-03-2003, 11:06 AM
You're not telling the entire story. Michael Moore is against the death penalty. He had written several letters to the Govenor of the State of Texas asking for a stay of execution for the condemned prisoner (whose name also happened to be Michael Moore-see story here. (http://members.optushome.com.au/thesquiz/mm.v5n5.htm)) The presence of a hired "cheer squad" was done more as a protest to the execution rather than a condoning of the act.

I'm not defending either. Michael Moore, the prisoner, brutally stabbed and shot an older woman to "earn some income." The other Moore in this story is brutal in his own way with written words and gaudy acts (like the cheer squad.)



08-03-2003, 11:43 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Ken (the other one):</font><hr> How many cops did you know who were worse than most of the criminals?<hr /></blockquote>

I've seen several:

<ul type="square"> A prisoner in a holding cell, awaiting transportation to Maricopa County Jail, asked the booking officer if he could use the restroom. The officer denied him. After only being able to "hold it" for so long, the prisoner urinated on the holding cell floor. Upon seeing the puddle run out from beneath the cell door, the booking officer became so angry that when the prisoner refused to mop it up with a mop and bucket provided by the officer, the officer knocked him to the ground and dragged him by the ankles through the urine, soaking up most of it with the prisoner's clothing and shoulder length hair. An officer I went through the Academy with, upon receiving a "choice" assignment of working undercover narcotics, became so addicted to crack cocaune himself that he was terminated and sent to a City-paid rehab. Another decorated officer, in a moment of mental instability, returned to the home that he shared with other officers and turned a Ruger Mini-14 on them as they slept. He is now serving a life sentence. Yet another officer who had been going through a painful separation from his wife, shot her and his daughter and had planned on killing his son (who was at his grandparents home at the time) finally decided that a bullet in his own head would be better than facing his fellow officers who were in the process of closing in on him. Another officer from my precinct, choosing not to pay to renew his vehicle registration, stole a plate from another vehicle and placed it on his. It was discovered during a routine check of vehicle registrations in the precinct parking lot by a newly promoted female Supervisor. He was also under investigation for dealing in illegal steroids. This man was my partner for two years. [/list]

Police Officers, while held to a higher standard than others, are still human and unfortunately prone to making some life-altering decisions.


Ken (despises crooked cops and crooked cues.)

08-04-2003, 12:15 AM
I didnt miss the sarcasm. MM is sometimes over the top but he does like to make his points through exaggeration .

Didnt know you were one of the fuzz. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif Tell me , officer Dibble /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif, why didnt you just flash your badge when you had that trouble at the airport ? Or would that not have made any difference.