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View Full Version : Medical breakthrough for "Greenfeltophobics"



rackmup
04-04-2002, 07:48 AM
Greenfeltophobia is defined as a morbid dread of fuzzy cloth. Greenfeltophobics sometimes describe it as a fear of any green cloth or fear of being in contact with "fuzzy" cloth. Some say it feels as if the walls are closing in if they have to "endure" repeated contact with cloth of this type.

Fear of green cloth can first become apparent when certain medical procedures are performed. An MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) requires that a person be in a small enclosed space for a period of several minutes. The rooms in which MRI's are performed are often cold. Anxiety levels for Greenfeltophobia sufferers can reach panic levels during an MRI if they are draped in a green blanket for warmth. This was discovered at the "St. Judes Sister of the Lucky Charms Hospital" in Dublin, Ireland last year. It was from this that the need for more research into Greenfeltophobia was determined.

Greenfeltophobia may be the result of a long-forgotten childhood experience. I worked with one person who's brother had smothered him in a green sleeping bag during a wrestling episode - it's easy to see how the fear could have developed that way. Other "root causes" are less obvious.

People with Greenfeltophobia can experience anxiety in Irish-themed taverns, parks with large, grassy areas, patios covered with green artificial turf, fields of clover or simply pulling a green sweater over their heads. Symptoms may include excessive sweating or clamminess, rapid breathing, rapid heartbeat, nausea and dizziness.

Those who rely upon earning a living in an environment that is associated with the rich color of green (football players, bankers and pool players) are particularly challenged in the workplace. Reports of early retirement from the gridiron are widespread. It is believed, based on the past three years performances, the playing members of the Dallas Cowboys ALL suffer from Greenfeltophobia. Bank Presidents have been forced into early retirement because they cannot endure the constant contact with money.

Pool players seem to be troubled to a greater degree than most. Their hands and eyes are in CONSTANT contact with green cloth. The "bridge hand" (the hand used to stabilize the pool cue) is in constant contact with green cloth. Their eyes must must focus on the balls which rest on this green cloth. Some report uncontrollable shaking, sweating, unprovoked "woofing" (the expression of negative feelings through overtly condescending comments), the "jumping" of balls off the table, miscues, etc.

A medical study is nearing completion and a medication is awaiting approval by the FDA, in hopes of helping those afflicted with this horrible fear.

I thought this might be useful information to those who are in constant search for "answers" to their games. You may be afflicted by this dreaded disease.

Log onto www.greenfeltophobicssupportgroupsofamerica.org (http://www.greenfeltophobicssupportgroupsofamerica.org) for the location of a support group in your area.

This has been a public information bulletin from your friend and fellow sufferer, Ken.

Regards,

Ken

Doctor_D
04-04-2002, 07:59 AM
Good morning Pookie:

My dear, I do believe that you have finally lost it all!!! Please, get some professional help.

Your X;

Dr. D.

Doctor_D
04-04-2002, 08:20 AM
Oh Pookie, One more thing.

I have not received April's alimony check. Has it been mailed? When will it arrive? I am buying some new equipment, a Brunswick Gold Crown IV, and I need the money.

Your X;

Dr. D.

04-05-2002, 10:59 PM
C'mon you guys, you know you want to kiss and make up!!! Ken, can't you just get past the fact that you saw that blonde first??!

Chris Cass
04-06-2002, 01:12 AM
Hi Ken,
I definitly have it. Also, have workaphobia but the wife will only buy the Greenfeltophobia. Her recommendation is to stay home. So, I play it off like I don't have it and claim, denial. I'm in denial.

Regards,
C.C.

rackmup
04-06-2002, 08:59 AM
Lorri...

What did this post mean???

Regards,

Ken (confused about "kissing and making up" and what blonde?)