View Full Version : A tribute to a One-Pocket player:

08-29-2003, 06:21 PM
Arlington Texas has lost another aspiring one pocket player. Read on.
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote "The Arlington Corner Pocket" (a North Texas Billiards Publication):</font><hr>
On his way to "Legendary", now gone from us forever"
Ken "rackmup" Kingan
Guest Columnist

I can remember only a short year ago walking into the first pool hall I would eventually become a regular of after relocating to Texas. It was Click's in Arlington, Texas. The first person I met was a rugged looking fellow, more befitting of a role in a Clint Eastwood western than a pool player banging balls.

He was quiet. You know the type: soft-spoken, polite when spoken to but mainly remained to himself as he practiced his craft.

I learned through the bartender that he was recently laid off from work and had been in the pool room every day from open until close, sharpening his one pocket skills and taking money from those foolish enough to think they had a chance at beating him. I watched as this stranger effortlessly made bank-after-bank and kick-after-kick.

His break was lethal. If he didn't pocket a ball he would at the very least, park it so deep in the hole that only God could have kicked it free. He would quietly say, "Well, that one's on layaway." Eight and outs were the norm. It seemed others were intimidated by his skills.

That was over a year ago and his one-pocket skills have only improved. I watched him play recently and was astounded by his bold accuracy on what looked like impossible shots. He could study the cluster, fire relentlessly into it and stand back as a ball rolled into his hole followed by three others that would sit right next to it.

His opponents would take their money out halfway through a game, knowing it would be easier to remove it from their shirt pocket than it would be from their wallet as that dreaded chore would be inevitable.

As quickly as his game improved and potential foes ran from any table near him, he seemed to disappear. Oh sure, we would see him on league night but we noticed something. Something very different. He seemed "distant." Many of us silently questioned, "Is he sick? I hope he's okay."

None of us asked because we didn't want to learn the horrible truth that we are all just now learning.

Who am I talking about? Many of you will have figured it out by now but for most of you that never had the pleasure of getting to know him over a cold beer and an ass-kicking on the table, His name was Alex Moore. To his friends his name was simply "Les" and to those of us here at the CCB he was simply known as "OnePocketChamp" or even simpler, "OPC."

He has left us with victory claimed by a terrible opponent known as: Relationship.

Yes, OPC has a steady, full-time GIRLFRIEND.

Sadly, his 3X7 Leather Instroke Cowboy cue case has been replaced with a Vinyl Franklin Planner, outlining Parent-Teacher Conference meetings, Soccer games and meal planning.

His sporty Mitsubishi is certainly soon to be replaced by an 8-seat minivan for hauling the kids to-and-from the mall and his gambling days will assuredly be reduced to friendly sideline wagers with fathers of other soccer-playing children.

No more late nights at the pool hall but rather late nights spent tucking kids into bed and watching obligatory romance videos from BlockBuster with the "GIRLFRIEND."

The APA patches he once proudly displayed on his "pool shirt" will be quickly replaced with bumper stickers on the rear of the kid-hauler that read, "I'm a Soccer Step-Dad" and "My other car is a Station Wagon."

It should have been apparent to those of us who watched as he slipped deeper and deeper into this dreaded...THING. But no! We just assumed everything would be okay.

But it wasn't and now, we have lost him forever. The last I heard, he was on his way to a weekend soccer tournament in Austin. I know there are pool halls in Austin and I bet he didn't even take his cues!

If you know a pool player who seems "different" lately, don't ignore it. He/She just might be in the feverish throws of a pool-player-ending relationship just as OPC was.

If you find out in time, they can be broken up.

I'm going to miss you OPC. The pool hall just won't be the same without you.<hr /></blockquote>
I hope this might help some of you before it's too late.



08-30-2003, 05:49 AM
I am completely devestated by this news Ken. What the hell is this world coming to? Why do they take these things from us and make life soooooo hard? Why oh why?

If I come to Texas next year do you think we could kidnap him or something? Break into his apartment, find his cues, place a black hood over his head, then get him into the nearest pool hall for a cold beer and some "rehab" or "girlfriend detox"? I hope old OPC remembers where he came from.

Kato~~~really loves women but sometimes shutters at the thought of "girlfriend"

08-30-2003, 06:49 AM

It's a much greater problem than I originally thought.

There is serious talk about moving in together, "family nights" at the roller rink, monogrammed towels and matching robes, "friendship" rings and a family dog.

Rehab and detox may not be enough and I'm terribly sorry to say that right now, I do not have the answers.

Relationships are great as long as they don't interfere with the more important things in life like beer drinking, pool playing, late-night carousing, strip club grand openings and expendable cash flow.

I'm afraid it might be too late for our friend. I think he's a gonner.


Ken (still in mourning.)

08-30-2003, 07:03 AM
Well, I am happy to hear I am not to blame. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif I knew when I left OPC would be broken up. No one to beat up on, on Saturday afternoons.

Well, I am sure he will be back.


08-30-2003, 09:30 AM
Ken this is truly diheartening for me. I am saddened by the loss of your best friend but maybe now is the time to think of yourself Ken. Sure it's tough losing a friend to the dreaded "Relationship" but you're still kicking right? You can still do all those wonderful things right? Guys like you and I are too smart to fall for that "Relationship" thing anymore right? We just gotta stick together Ken and hope one of those women looking for "Relationship" doesn't find us in a bar somewhere and offer us BEER aka "The Female Super Secret Way To Trick Guys Into Relationships" because at that specific time we're dead.

Kato~~~helpless victim of any wiley female with cold beer in hand

08-31-2003, 10:22 AM

Some undeniable statistical facts about this dreaded disease:

<ul type="square"> 10 out of 10 men involved in relationships failed to show any signs of "loneliness." Of those 10 men, 8 out of 10 demonstrated a propensity for saying, "Yes dear" in excess of 25 times per day. Of those 8 men polled, 6 had to involve their "significant other" in ALL of their daily activities. Of those 6, 4 could escape their domicile without including the "other" but had to provide a detailed itinerary of his plans for that day. Of that 4, 3 were given a significantly early curfew. 2 out of that 3, upon returning home had to partake in a tortuous conversation about the "S.O.'s" day, all the while missing key plays during a significant televised sporting event. Out of that 2, 1 male was forced to watch a "girlie flick", help with the hem line on a sewing project of the "S.O." or serve as a partner in baking duty in the kitchen. 1 out of 10 men surveyed indicated that after such a demanding day at the hands of this disease that had consumed their lives, were unable to perform "sexually" or eat red meat without yakking. [/list]

So you see Kato, we are truly fortunate to be in our current state of good health.



08-31-2003, 10:37 AM
"helpless victim of any wiley female with cold beer in hand"

Helpless, oh yea! Is it gonna happen today? I'll wager that I run 11 racks today, against the odds of Ms Wiley Female hittin' on me at the PH....sid~~~so much for the positive attitude approach :-(

08-31-2003, 10:55 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote S_V:</font><hr>Helpless, oh yea! Is it gonna happen today? I'll wager that I run 11 racks today, against the odds of Ms Wiley Female hittin' on me at the PH...<hr /></blockquote>


This is how they want you to feel! Don't fall for it!

They see you over in the corner, innocently playing pool. They eye you like prey at lunch time in the Congo. Next thing you know, they disarm you with a quick glance and "sincere" smile.

Now they have you thinking.

Their next move will be to show "interest" in you. Perhaps you make a great shot and you happen to notice them watching you revel in your pool-prowess. They nod in agreement. Maybe, you even get a "golf clap."

If this is where you find yourself, you are at a crossroads my friend. Turn back now. Pack the cues and leave to another bastion of pool-playing because your life is at stake.

Failure to do so will ultimately lead to the third and final stage of the "hunt":

The waitress will approach you and say, "The young lady over there would like to know what you are drinking..."

If you tell her, you are DOOMED.

Don't fall for it gentlemen. They have the "Simplicity Patterns" laid out on the sewing table at home. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" books are strewn about their lairs. "Girlie" movies are already slipped into their VCR's. Magazines and newspapers are NOT allowed in their bathrooms. All of the sports channels have been disabled.

Take that drink and it's all over.


Ken (this has been a public service announcement)

08-31-2003, 07:14 PM
Thanks for the heads up Ken. This is important information that I need to know. I will tell you that although sometimes I feel weakened by the desire to have "REALATIONSHIP" I have thus far managed to avoid the advanced stages for more than a few months at a time.


08-31-2003, 09:52 PM
I have just read and reread this post and am truly befuddled by its content, I only wish I had more time available to me right to respond but alas my meat loaf is almost ready and I have to start tossing the salad, not to mention that the dishes in the dishwasher have to be put up. To my buddy Rackmup and the Florida flash (RJ) thanks for your heartfelt concern.

09-01-2003, 08:45 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Whooped OnePocketChamp:</font><hr> ...but alas my meat loaf is almost ready and I have to start tossing the salad, not to mention that the dishes in the dishwasher have to be put up. <hr /></blockquote>

Also failed to mention the need to:
<ul type="square"> Wash the minivan. Put away the soccer gear from the Austin tourney. Catch up on laundry. Massage Francee's feet. Prepare school lunches. Set VCR to record tomorrows' soaps. Facial scrub. Paint toenails. [/list]

Good luck tonight you pitiful excuse for a former pool-player.



09-01-2003, 12:02 PM
My God, Someone help this man before it's too late!