View Full Version : So it's boring around here? I can fix that:

09-10-2003, 04:06 PM
Late last night while at pool league, I heard a voice over in the corner of the pool room. It was an old guy (you could tell by the wheezing) and a younger guy (you could tell by the music he had just played on the jukebox) arguing about trick shots and pool lessons.

As it turns out and much to my surprise, it was a trick-shot artist from Atlanta and an Instructor from Montana. They were debating many things: the best jump cue, the best tip for a jump cue, the best way to install the best tip on the best jump cue, etc.

The old guy kept calling the younger guy a "moron." The younger guy merely replied, "Look...let's talk this over after a few shots of tequila." The old guy retorts, "Tequila shot? I don't know that shot but I can land a cueball on the neck of a Seagrams bottle." Their attempts at effective communication were hindered by the old guy's lack of hearing and basic people skills while the younger guy seemed pretty set in his ways and had strong and sincere beliefs about his convictions.

About that time, upon hearing the word "moron" travel over the old guy's lips, a 20-something pool player walked up to the old guy and says, "Hey...aren't you that geezer that thinks all skill level threes' are morons?" Before the old guy could say anything, the kid socks him in the throat and drops Mr. Trick Shot to the floor.

Out from beneath the adjacent pool table explodes this Beagle dog who immediately grabs onto the kids ankle and gnaws down to the bone. The kid and the geezer were both transported to the same hospital for tending to their wounds.

After this all dies down, a "Marlboro Man" looking guy saunters in with a woman draped all over him and the woofing immediately starts about this guy having "relationship disease" and everyone is surprised he is even allowed out of the house.

They verbally beat up on that guy for awhile then directed their attention to some big guy in the corner, talking about being the "Daddy of Voodoo" to some guy who claimed to have the sidekick role in the old series, "The Green Hornet." I think both of them were lying but who am I to ever question the validity of another's claim-to-fame?

A horrible sound started to come through the back door from the outside patio area and a young lady runs in shouting, "a bunch of wolves are fighting on the patio! One's all black and blue, Another is scared white and the antagonizer just keeps yapping!" It seems one wolf caught a bunch of other rival wolves "invading her space" and took offense to it. I think "wolves" are the name of a Maryland Street Gang trying to stake out the turf of another wolf gang here in Texas. I'm not too sure and I've never been one to assume anything.

Over in another corner of the room was a party involving a bunch of guys from "The Natti", wherever that is. They were mostly older gentleman and were chatting it up with the pool instructor who was arguing earlier with the old geezer that went to the hospital.

There was a Girl there playing Nineball, another great lady handing out nuts and a few gals from NYC, all gossiping about men, men's butts and some little tournament in Virginia.

At the bar was a guy showing everyone all these wierd websites on his laptop computer, a female pro-player from New York and another guy who seemed Vicious but was really a nice guy and he was treating everyone around him to Miller Lite beers while practicing jump shots with each of about seven different jump cues.

There was a Petty argument about some poolhall on the "point" (again, I have never been there and don't know where it is) being the "best pool hall ever." I think an exterminator was needed at this point place pool hall as I heard the lady that owned it claiming that although requested many times, the "Spiderman" never shows up.

A Florida Gator fan was there arguing with some Bolo tie salesman about war in the middle east and another guy who I think was a Q technician. Those Gator fans never argue as much about football as you think they would but I don't know much about that either as I'm told that Florida Gator team is only at the Junior College level and I don't watch much Junior College football.

A lot of people started to filter out of the joint when the air conditioning system went on deep-freeze mode. They would set it, pause, finish and the next thing you know, it was freezing. It was just a little uncomfortable after awhile.

Before the A/C went on the blink, a lot of pool was being played as I heard, "RackMup!" from every corner of the house. There was a Karate Mom (I've met several Soccer Moms' before but this was my first Karate Mom) bragging about her son and drinking Crown and Coke as all I heard was how "She couldn't cope with life without CC in it." I just don't think talking about liquor in front of your kid is the right thing to do but it's funny...the kid seemed to agree about the effects of CC in his mom's life. Oh well...to each his own.

Everyone seemed to be having fun, a few little scraps broke out from time-to-time but all-in-all, it was a pretty uneventful evening and a cool place to hang out.

If you're ever in town, it's a little place off the Web Superhighway called the "CCB."


Ken (it really did happen. really.)

09-10-2003, 04:24 PM
Bravo!! Bravo!! Author!! Author!!

Barbara~~~is thankful rackmup will be around next week...

09-10-2003, 05:43 PM
I think this is deserving of a Pulitzer. Next week it'll be on the NY Times best seller list.

DG - who needed a laugh

09-10-2003, 05:50 PM
This is scary.. what if Ken made it to VA? and it all turned out to be a dream?

I think it was Keith McCready that said that the best way to practice playing pool while you're NOT at the table, is to visualize a game in your mind. The lay of the table, the shot and shape for each ball, until you win.

The problem is... Keith couldn't remember if it was something he was doing while away from the table, dreaming or AT the Table.. cause' it didn't matter, as long as you win.

09-10-2003, 06:26 PM
I'll be keeping an eye on the place...


Ken (You kids go ahead and have fun. The CCB will be okay for a few days.)

09-10-2003, 06:32 PM
I've already figured out that I will have daily CCB withdrawls. I'm hoping that meeting everyone will replace that feeling of being in front of the computer.



09-11-2003, 05:55 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Karatemom:</font><hr> I've already figured out that I will have daily CCB withdrawls. I'm hoping that meeting everyone will replace that feeling of being in front of the computer.


Heide <hr /></blockquote>

SacTown Tommy just might bring his laptop. I hope so as I will need some onsite reportage from Monday until Thursday. Or surely AzHousePro will be wired to the hilt.

09-11-2003, 06:12 AM
Thanks. I feel better. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

That sounds like a pretty weird place. I'm staying the heck out of there. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

09-11-2003, 08:00 AM
ROFL. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

9 Ball Girl
09-11-2003, 08:24 AM
Bahahahahahaha!!!!! I agree, this definitely deserves a Pulitzer!

Girl Nineball&lt;---got her first good laugh of the morn'

Voodoo Daddy
09-11-2003, 01:09 PM
Your a sick, sick man...I knew I liked you for some reason!!!

09-11-2003, 04:47 PM
Like they say, there's alot of truth in a joke!

Eric &gt;the 20 something kid?! /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif