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rackmup
04-09-2002, 05:34 PM
In my hometown of Arizona, the place I called "home" for 43 years (except for a short, 5-year hiatus in Vegas with my company), the only thing I have ever hit in the roadway while enroute to my favorite pool hall was:

1. A cat (already dead.)

2. Heavy traffic.

I have been in Texas 38 days and have already hit:

1. A skunk (live.)

2. An Armadillo (live.)

3. A 'possum (live.)

4. A turtle (wiggling but injured before I hit it.)

5. A Ford tailgate (inanimate.)

6. Rain coming down in sheets.

7. A fish (I know...I don't know how it got there either.)

8. The arm of a sofa.

9. A television remote (possibly related to the aforementioned sofa.)

10. A racoon (very alive...had to hit it twice.)

Once at the pool hall, I was hit by stiff competition, cheap pool, cold beer and deep-fried foods.

I love Texas!

Regards,

Ken

http://www.jcwhitney.com/images/imagecache/I9809.gifhttp://fins.actwin.com/images/Amphiprion_ocellaris-sm.gifhttp://granicus.if.org/~firmiss/graphics/m-d/opossum100t.gifhttp://www.uselectronics.com/products/products_promote.jpghttp://granicus.if.org/~firmiss/graphics/m-d/skunk100t.gifhttp://www.loomcom.com/raccoons/images/fishcoon-outline.gifhttp://www.everwonder.com/david/armadillo/newpics/armadillo.jpghttp://furniturefind.com/images/navPics/living/country.jpg
http://image.weather.com/web/common/wxicons/31/38.gif

Doctor_D
04-09-2002, 06:56 PM
Good evening Ken:

Oh My God, you ar one dangerous driver !!!

Better not let the A.S.P.C.A. hear about your accomplishments.

Dr. D.

Take Care Pookie, do not want to see you end up as road kill yourself

Your X

Wally_in_Cincy
04-10-2002, 09:13 AM
That's hilarious.
But only ONE armadillo? That's hard to believe.
I always hit a passing train which costs me about 10 min. of practice time.

Ralph S.
04-10-2002, 04:52 PM
Hey Ken, just wandering if it safer to walk on the sidewalk, side of the road , or middle of the road. From the description it sounds like you are just a little erratic there behind the wheel.
Ralph S.>thinks Ken needs to take a drivers ed.refresher course......LOL

Doctor_D
04-10-2002, 04:57 PM
Good evening:

Personally, knowing how he drives and how radical he can be, I would prefer to be stationary. He always hits the moving targets and always misses the stationary ones.

Dr. D.

rackmup
04-10-2002, 05:09 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>Ralph S.&gt;thinks Ken needs to take a drivers ed.refresher course......<hr></blockquote>

Ralph,

I DID take "Ed's Driving with Refreshments Course." It's a prerequisite to obtaining both my TEXAS DRIVERS LICENSE and the ever important "UNICARD."

A fellow student driver in my class, when informed of my "roadkill" episodes, suggested it might be easier if I simply shot them. I took his advice and am currently enrolled in the local community college, taking a weekend course (8 weeks) in "Varmint Poaching and Taxidermy." Upon graduation, I receive a certificate, a lever-action Marlin .22 rifle (complete with the college logo on the stock) and a gun rack for the rear window of my truck.

Don't Mess with TEXAS.

Yeehaw.

Regards,

Ken (the Kowboy)

Doctor_D
04-10-2002, 05:13 PM
Good afternoon Ken:

Why only a whimpy .22 ?

My dad taught me on a Winchester 30.06 !!!

Dr. D.

04-10-2002, 05:14 PM
That is the second time I have smiled today, both from your posts.. that is some funny [censored] Ken..

SPetty
04-11-2002, 11:15 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: rackmup:</font><hr>
I DID take "Ed's Driving with Refreshments Course." It's a prerequisite to obtaining both my TEXAS DRIVERS LICENSE and the ever important "UNICARD."
<hr></blockquote>

Hey Ken,

Didn't take you long to learn about the Unicard, eh? I have the hard plastic never-pay-annual-dues-again lifetime version of that card myself!

SPetty~~ If/when we meet, drinks are on me!

Tom_In_Cincy
04-11-2002, 04:52 PM
http://www.lockport-ny.com/images/AG00385_.GIF

You'd better be more careful.. or things could really change... LOL