View Full Version : I ran across this new nineball article...

04-11-2002, 07:02 AM
I ran across this article while shopping with my wife for new drapery material:

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>Martha Stewart on Nineball

"Nineball is such a wonderful pastime. It is a great year-round sport. The table is vibrant with colors from all of the joyous seasons, the smell of maple cue shafts takes me back to my home in the Hamptons where we induldged ourselves in blueberry pancakes smothered in pecan-maple syrup (all grown in my wonderful garden.)"

"I especially enjoy the crash of the vanilla white cueball as it careens effortlessly into the diamond shaped triangle of awaiting balls, adorned with all colors of floral fauna. Upon impact, they scatter like small children, dressed in their Sunday best on Easter morning, in search of eggs, adorned by gold and silver, dyed in various pastel colors that seem to say..."look at me, I am beautiful" (dress patterns and Easter Egg coloring kits available at www.marthastewartliving.com (http://www.marthastewartliving.com))."

"The hardened phenolic resin orbs race toward one or more of the six available refuges called "pockets" in search of safe haven from the ice cold cueball, who's only objective is to continually run into them. This takes me back to my childhood when my Daddy and I would play tag at our waterfront home on the Cape. I love tag and so will you with my "Martha Stewart Tag Kit", available online at www.marthastewartgames.com. (http://www.marthastewartgames.com.)"

"The balls are pocketed in numerical order, beginning with the one and ending in joyous victory after "potting", as my friends across the pond might say, the nineball."

"Proper attire is crucial to the enjoyment of this fabulous game. I suggest wearing comfortable shoes, capri pants and a loose fitting sleeveless top. A nice hat, coordinated with the season is a wonderful coup de gras. These items can be found at www.marthastewartpoolwear.com. (http://www.marthastewartpoolwear.com.)" My clothing line is "unisex" so that both the male and female "shark" can be comfortable and look resplendid while playing "billiards."

"This brings me to the adornments of the playing table. Quality tables, such as the one I have in my 4000 square foot game room (pictures available for viewing at www.marthastewartissopretentious.com (http://www.marthastewartissopretentious.com)). It is a beautiful rosewood, with intricately carved legs (modeled after my own) and lavished in designer Ivan Simonis cloth in a brilliant mauve hue. The rails are adorned with real diamonds and the wooden cocobola rack has the names of my two dogs laser engraved in the sides. It is too beautiful for words."

"A quality cue is critical. Mine is a combination of ebony and ivory, cocobola wood and mother-of-pearl inlay, six points surrounded by the three colors of the trinity, topped off with a Predator 10-splice shaft. The tip of the cue is equally important. While some lesser players might want the basic leather tip, I chose the silky-soft tip of imported buffalo suede. I protect my cue with a custom case designed just for me by Dooney &amp; Bourke."

"I highly recommend the game be joined by the tasty accompaniments of Beluga caviar, delicate homemade wheat and rye crackers, a crisp Chardonnay from my fabulous wine collection (<font color=blue>www.marthastewartwinesandspirits.com</font color=blue>) and cheesecake."

"I hope this has allowed a new light to beacon down on what used to be considered a dreary game. Now that I, Martha Stewart, has placed her hands on this game and embraced it as one would a new taffeta and velvet goosedown duvet on a cold winter's night, I hope you will too."

Martha Stewart.<hr></blockquote>

I hope you enjoyed the article.


Ken (doing all I can to bring the latest information on our beloved game to those that I hold dearest)

04-11-2002, 07:09 AM
And everybody thought I was crazy when I told them I was in love with Martha.

We have had our problems in the past though. She gave me the 7 out and the breaks with me giving up 2 to 1 on the money. I couldn't outrun the odds. Tough day for me. Her butler was nice enough to slip some Chivas Regal my way though.


04-11-2002, 07:12 AM
Good morning:

Great article! I have already E-Mailed it to several of my friends and business associates.

Dr. D.

04-11-2002, 08:09 AM
Martha plays with a Predator ...imported buffalo tip?!?!?! ...I now look at Martha in a different light!! Great article, I'm wondering if Martha actual wrote it herself (particularly the attention given to the table, cloth, cue, shaft, and tip description), or if it was just written for her as part of an ad for her Martha Stewart Living.

04-11-2002, 08:20 AM
Martha is very fanatical about her pool game. She'll frequently run 100 and out while her quiches are in the oven. Why, she's been known to give free lessons to her camera crews and can be seen frequently air bridging. She doesn't have beer in the fridge and since she would rather sip wine or hot tea we don't get along like we used to.


Gayle in MD
04-11-2002, 10:19 AM
Ken, your post, LOL, "It's a good thing" HA HA HA!
Gayle in MD

Harold Acosta
04-11-2002, 08:05 PM
I'm certain this ad was written for Martha. I cannot picture in my mind Martha playing billiards. She probably doesn't even know how to shoot a ball!

Just my opinion folks.....

04-11-2002, 08:50 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: rackmup:</font><hr> I ran across this article while shopping with my wife for new drapery material:<hr></blockquote>

"Drapery material?" were you helpful?

04-12-2002, 06:13 AM
Not really...I suggested aluminum foil or butcher paper, both easily mounted with duct tape. She said "no."


Ken (definitely NOT Christopher Lowell)