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Tom_In_Cincy
09-27-2003, 11:53 AM
NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
FOR YEAR 2035





OZONE CREATED BY ELECTRIC CARS NOW KILLING
MILLIONS IN THE SEVENTH LARGEST COUNTRY IN
THE WORLD, CALIFORNIA.

WHITE MINORITIES STILL TRYING TO HAVE
ENGLISH RECOGNIZED AS CALIFORNIA'S
THIRD LANGUAGE.

SPOTTED OWL PLAGUE THREATENS NORTHWESTERN
UNITED STATES CROPS & LIVESTOCK.

BABY CONCEIVED NATURALLY....
SCIENTISTS STUMPED.

LAST REMAINING FUNDAMENTALIST MUSLIM DIES
IN THE AMERICAN TERRITORY OF THE MIDDLE EAST
(FORMERLY KNOWN AS IRAN, AFGHANISTAN, SYRIA,
AND LEBANON.)

IRAQ STILL CLOSED OFF; PHYSICISTS ESTIMATE IT
WILL TAKE AT LEAST TEN MORE YEARS BEFORE
RADIOACTIVITY DECREASES TO SAFE LEVELS.

CASTRO FINALLY DIES AT AGE 112; CUBAN CIGARS
CAN NOW BE IMPORTED LEGALLY, BUT PRESIDENT
CHELSEA CLINTON HAS BANNED ALL SMOKING.

GEORGE Z. BUSH SAYS HE WILL RUN FOR PRESIDENT
IN 2036.

POSTAL SERVICE RAISES PRICE OF FIRST CLASS
STAMP TO $17.89! AND REDUCES MAIL DELIVERY
TO WEDNESDAY ONLY.

35 YEAR STUDY: DIET AND EXERCISE IS THE KEY
TO WEIGHT LOSS.

MASSACHUSETTS EXECUTES LAST REMAINING
CONSERVATIVE.

SUPREME COURT RULES PUNISHMENT OF CRIMINALS
VIOLATES THEIR CIVIL RIGHTS.

UPCOMING NFL DRAFT LIKELY TO FOCUS ON USE
OF MUTANTS.

AVERAGE HEIGHT OF NBA PLAYERS NOW NINE FEET,
SEVEN INCHES.

MICROSOFT ANNOUNCES IT HAS PERFECTED ITS
NEWEST VERSION OF WINDOWS SO IT
CRASHES BEFORE INSTALLATION IS COMPLETED.

NEW FEDERAL LAW REQUIRES THAT ALL NAIL
CLIPPERS, SCREWDRIVERS, FLY SWATTERS, AND
ROLLED UP NEWSPAPERS MUST BE REGISTERED BY
JANUARY 2036.

CONGRESS AUTHORIZES DIRECT DEPOSIT OF
ILLEGAL POLITICAL CONTRIBUTIONS TO
CAMPAIGN ACCOUNTS.

IRS SETS LOWEST TAX RATE AT 75%

AVERAGE PRICE OF A SINGLE FAMILY HOME IN
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIAIS $2,500,000 AND A
THREE BEDROOM APARTMENT NOW RENTS FOR
$5,000 A MONTH.

CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS NOW OFFICIALLY A
FELONY AS IT OFFENDS TOO MANY PEOPLE.

Wally_in_Cincy
09-27-2003, 12:08 PM
CELL PHONE RECEPTION/TRANSMISSION STILL PROBLEMATIC.
TELCOM INDUSTRY PROMISES IMPROVEMENTS SOON.

TOY GUNS OUTLAWED. STUDY FINDS
BOYS NOW USING STICKS AS "PRETEND" GUNS

"WAR ON DRUGS" ENTERS 60TH YEAR.
DEA EXPECTS POSITIVE RESULTS WITHIN 10 MORE YEARS.

200,000 JAILED FOR SMOKING POT

BILL CLINTON IN SEX SCANDAL

HAMILTUCKY HAMMER FINALLY RUNS 30 BALLS, BREAKING 37 YEAR OLD PERSONAL BEST.

nAz
09-27-2003, 12:09 PM
hehe good one TomC even with the heavy rightwing slant /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Tom_In_Cincy
09-27-2003, 12:59 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> HAMILTUCKY HAMMER FINALLY RUNS 30 BALLS, BREAKING 37 YEAR OLD PERSONAL BEST.

<hr /></blockquote>

Wally found someone's toes and fingers to use /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Good one Wally

Wally_in_Cincy
10-01-2003, 07:05 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr>

....HAMILTUCKY HAMMER FINALLY RUNS 30 BALLS, BREAKING 37 YEAR OLD PERSONAL BEST.

<hr /></blockquote>

The highs and lows of pool.

I guess I was inspired by Steve Lipsky's tremendous play this past weekend. I went home Monday and while practicing straight pool I ran 12 balls. I said "Well that's not bad". Then I went on to run

<font color="red">34</font color>

besting my previous high by 10 balls. It was practice I admit but it was still a legitimate run.

Then I went out and played in my 8-ball league. I got beat 4-0 in 7 innings /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif. This kid just did not miss. Unfortunately, I did. It was embarrassing. The kid was a 5 like me except I'm not a good 5 and he is well on his way to becoming a 6. After his match Monday it won't be long now.

later....