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View Full Version : My wife is out to get me....



Iowashark
10-08-2003, 10:43 AM
Lately my wife has been obsessed with tagging along to every tournament and league event I'm in. I don't know if it's because she enjoys watching me play, or to supervise and make sure none of the cute girls playing pool are hitting on me.

Anyway, lately my game has been slipping because I now get there 5 minutes before the event starts due to waiting for my wife, and lots of times she asks "are you almost done yet?" I think this may be frustrating me or distracting me a bit because my performance is slipping slightly.

A lot of my friends don't allow their wives/girlfriends at the PH because they are afraid it will be a distraction. I'm not quite sure what to do.

Has this happened to anybody else?
(besides OPC)

~~~~~pretty sure my wife is trying to extinct my pool game.

Dave

Danny D
10-08-2003, 10:53 AM
Post deleted by ccboard_admin

Perk
10-08-2003, 11:43 AM
Danny D...get lost....another unappropriate post by you. You shouldnt call his wife any type of names.


My wife loves to go to the weekend tourney's, and occasionally a weekday tourney. But, she too gets the "I am going back to the room", or "Are you almost ready mentality". This is definately a distraction. I have just learned to announce my intentions prior to going to an event. And matching up with someone with her around is definately not an option. No concentration can be attained. I would recommend having some events that she can be involved in, and others just for yourself. I use it as a "Guys night out". JMO

mike_in_iowa
10-08-2003, 12:03 PM
I got a perfect idea. Start going to the best tourney in des moines. the sunday tourney at beach girls. $15 entry and the house adds $5. races to 6 and 5. a couple weeks of that and either she will stay home or she'll make you stay home. hope to see you there.

how come you missed the smokies tourney over the weekend? good tourney with a $3000 calcutta

mike athens

Perk
10-08-2003, 12:12 PM
Mike,

I can only imagine what type of tourney you were talking about. My wife would only let me attend just that one time if thats the case /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif But, if its that good, then maybe she wouldnt need to attend that one. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Who won at Smokies? I havent been playin alot YET due to some last minute remodling around the house. Tryin to get it closed in before winter. A friend of mine has been working one week at a time in Iowa...I wonder if he is working close to there. Will have to ask him, he would like to enter those while there if he had time.

magicman
10-08-2003, 12:15 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Perk:</font><hr> Mike,

I can only imagine what type of tourney you were talking about. My wife would only let me attend just that one time if thats the case /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif But, if its that good, then maybe she wouldnt need to attend that one. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Who won at Smokies? I havent been playin alot YET due to some last minute remodling around the house. Tryin to get it closed in before winter. A friend of mine has been working one week at a time in Iowa...I wonder if he is working close to there. Will have to ask him, he would like to enter those while there if he had time. <hr /></blockquote>


What did Danny say that was so bad to get it deleted, I am dying to know, I missed it.

Eric.
10-08-2003, 12:23 PM
So bitter!! Why so angry?


Eric &gt; /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Iowashark
10-08-2003, 12:31 PM
The reason I missed smokies tourney is that my band was playin 2 nights in Cedar Falls over the weekend and I couldn't make it to Des Moines for the tourney. I played the last one and got stomped by Spina 5-2...he ran 4 racks on me, first 3 and the last 1.

I've only played Beach Girls twice and then for the second time my band got in the way as we have our practices now every Sunday night.

That and I think bringing my wife to a strip club for a tourney would turn real ugly and create lots of distractions. (And yes, I'd have to bring her in order to play there)

8 ball ho
10-08-2003, 12:36 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Iowashark:</font><hr> Lately my wife has been obsessed with tagging along to every tournament and league event I'm in. I don't know if it's because she enjoys watching me play, or to supervise and make sure none of the cute girls playing pool are hitting on me.

Anyway, lately my game has been slipping because I now get there 5 minutes before the event starts due to waiting for my wife, and lots of times she asks "are you almost done yet?" I think this may be frustrating me or distracting me a bit because my performance is slipping slightly.

A lot of my friends don't allow their wives/girlfriends at the PH because they are afraid it will be a distraction. I'm not quite sure what to do.

Has this happened to anybody else?
(besides OPC)

~~~~~pretty sure my wife is trying to extinct my pool game.

Dave <hr /></blockquote>

This is a real problem with some new marriages, the young wife can be very insecure. That is why I never flirt with or encourage any married men.

You need to encourage your wife to go with you any time she wants, or just drop in at any time. When she has that freedom, and can see that she does not face any danger of you wandering, she will soon bore with just watching you play and then later let you have your night out. Just do not give her any reason to become suspicious and you will be OK.

Popcorn
10-08-2003, 01:07 PM
I don't know if you are just kidding around or serious but, I like it that my wife likes pool, maybe as much as me. She understands the game, plays it, is always the first one wanting to go to the tournaments. I would rather have her sitting there then anyone else. At one time I was not crazy about her being one of the guys. It was not unusual for players to call the house to see if she would like to play with them in a scotch doubles tournament. Now that we have been together for almost 30 years and married for 25, there is no doubt that sharing some the same interests is one of the factors. Feel lucky if your girl wants to share your interest in pool. I think a lot of guys are afraid of being embarrassed in front of their girls, if they play bad or lose, especially if they go off gambling. It is hard enough playing, without worrying about trying to impress your girlfriend. This would be extra hard if she know nothing about the game and you have B.S.ed about what a good player you are. There would be pressure there, no guy wants his girl to see him get beat on, macho thing I guess. Now if the girl really has no interest in being at the pool room and is just tagging along, wanting to leave after a short time or is acting board, I guess it could be a distraction and maybe a bad sign in general. If you sit around a pool room observing people enough, you can become a pretty good Dr. Phil of the pool room. I have seen some pretty good fights between guys and girls over the guy wanting to hang in the pool room more then the girl or wife would like, but they most likely have other problems as well and the pool is just one of the sticking points in the relationship. Pool may just be a dumb game, but if it is important to one of the partners the other is going to have to make concessions. My wife likes her Yoga and working out a few nights a week She has a personal trainer and loves it. (He is gay, so no problem there). Just because I have no real interest, I like to work out at home, I love that she has something she likes so much.

Eric.
10-08-2003, 01:16 PM
That's actually some sound advice, I agree with ya Larry..I mean.. Fast Ho /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif


Eric &gt;wow

Iowashark
10-08-2003, 01:17 PM
That's a great post Popcorn. Don't get me wrong, she likes pool. Just not quite to the extent that I do. Before I got my table at home she used to come to the PH with me when I wanted to practice. She actually likes playing pool with me. But during tournaments when she's not playing, and pool has taken over her #1 spot on my points of interest for the day, then she gets a little bothered and annoyed. I just think that she would have a better time if she was doing something else that she enjoys while I'm playing. I think it all boils down to boredom as her biggest problem at tournaments.
Maybe if she wasn't in attendance we would both end up having a better time.

So I guess my question is should I politely ask her not to attend these events, or try even harder to get her involved in them?

NH_Steve
10-08-2003, 02:14 PM
My wife used to come to the poolroom regularly with me -- back when she had time on her hands. She never bothered me in the slightest. Although never interested in the game herself, she got pretty good at following the game from watching and of course putting up with me reliving the key shots on the ride home /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif She is a pretty quiet person, so she'd pick a seat not too close and either bring a book, or knit, or draw (she's a kitchen designer).

The oddest thing was that occasionally in a strange room, or playing an unfamiliar player, I would hear comments that she was part of my 'hustle' -- you know, her sitting there knitting was somehow intended to help make me look like an easy mark. We got quite a chuckle out of that one -- the knitting hustle /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

These days her own kitchen business keeps her too busy to come along very often, but she trusts me in a pool room just fine. I always call when I'm leaving so she knows my estimated home arrival.

With her, I think getting comfortable with the pool room environment and seeing how i handled myself there, along with coming to the realization that I'd rather find a good One Pocket game than, well, find just about anything else I might get in trouble with /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

I'd suggest some basic guidelines so you can play more relaxed:
1 -- She has to let you get to the room early enough to get comfortable
2 -- She needs to give you (and your opponent /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif ) enough space while you are playing so as not to be a distraction
3 -- It's not fair to rush you out of there -- if it's a tourney it should be understood that you stay until you're out. If it's just playing, you set an expectation before hand and stick as close as you can to it. If you overrun your expected time by several hours regularly without calling, then you lose crdibility. Calling first often buys time for another set if your action comes through the door late /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
4 -- You better hold up your end of the deal and be trustworthy if you go alone
5 -- You have to be able to keep up with your presumed work &amp; home responsibilities -- and have some free time with her on her own terms -- in otherwords keep your pool time in perspective, assuming you're an ametuer, then she shouldn't begrudge the pool time

Best of luck to you

cycopath
10-08-2003, 02:48 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote NH_Steve:</font><hr>The oddest thing was that occasionally in a strange room, or playing an unfamiliar player, I would hear comments that she was part of my 'hustle' -- you know, her sitting there knitting was somehow intended to help make me look like an easy mark. We got quite a chuckle out of that one -- the knitting hustle /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
<hr /></blockquote>
Oh yeah, the old 'two brothers and a knitter' hustle.

Karatemom
10-08-2003, 02:57 PM
Be straight up with her. Ask her if she gets bored when she goes with you to the PH. If she says yes, then you might indirectly mention that it's alright with you if she does something else instead of tagging along with you. If she says no, she's not bored, then try to get her more involved.

I used to bother the daylights out of Chris in the beginning, too. So I figured if I can't beat 'em, join 'em, LOL.

Definitely tell her that it bothers you that it bothers her about the tournaments, and that the two of you need to figure something out that satisfies both parties. I'm sure things will eventually work out for the best.

Heide ` Just some advice from someone who's been there

dg-in-centralpa
10-08-2003, 03:05 PM
When we were dating, my wife came along a couple times. She realized that this is a guy's night out. She comes to Valley Forge and spends Friday at the zoo or the battlefields with my daughter, and then Saturday is spent at the Expo. She loves pool, just not as much as I do. No problem as long as she doesn't bother me when I'm trying to shoot in the tourny.
DG - counting the days to VF

9 Ball Girl
10-08-2003, 03:11 PM
I used to have a friend that would bring his girlfriend to the room and she would get bored. So, being that I was the only other chick, he used to ask me to go with her to the bar around the corner so that she's not bored. That happened twice. Never again.

Wendy&lt;---will probably die in a poolroom!

Keith Talent
10-08-2003, 03:25 PM
Sounds like she feels the tourney is stealing time away from her, so it's her mission to make sure you spend as little time as possible at the PH. Mine can be that way, too ... but she hasn't expressed any interest in tagging along, fortunately.

Reminds me of a funny incident ... I was playing in a tennis tournament last winter, and my opponent turns up with his wife and 4-year-old and asks if I mind if they sit courtside --- this is in a bubble, with nets between the courts and just a couple of chairs.

So, I'm a little stunned and consider saying, You cannot be serious! or some such McEnroeism ... but then I figure, no way will this guy be able to play worth a damn with them watching his every move and yakking at him during changeovers. I say fine, and watch the guy go through hell trying to control himself, muffling the usual cursing over bad shots, etc. ... I ended up winning, after about 3 tortuous hours.

Bet they don't try that arrangement again. LOL.