respect...

Hi all. I used to post frequently about two/three years ago...but haven't been back in quite awhile. There are some great improvements.

That being said, I'm looking for opinions on the article titled "Respect", written by a woman player/guest author in the latest issue of BD magazine. As a female player who should be able to relate, I think she went over the edge (as do many other female players I've talked to). The mental game is so crucial to this sport. It's a person's own fault if they let their opponent get in their head. And most importantly (IMHO), respect cannot be demanded, only earned. At one point, the author (who's name I don't remember off hand) implied she was offended by the fact that her male opponent was not paying attention while she was at the table. Attitude and perception is everything. My attitude would be that it's to his disadvantage to not pay attention because should I foul, he would not be aware of it (not that I would intentionally cheat), and he may discover weaknesses in my game that could aide him in beating me. But that's his problem. I don't need the gratification of having him watch me make every ball. In fact, he could go have a party in the other room for all I care. But when he steps back up to the table and sees that all the balls are gone, I will have earned his repect, and chances are, he'll pay attention next time. If not, oh well. She (the author) seems irritated about some other issues that seem trivial to me as well...which is sad, because (no disrespect intended) an irritated player is often never at their top game. My suggestion to her would be instead of trying to change the attitudes of her male opponents, to work on an achievable...work on changing her reception of their attitudes and begin using it to her favor.

[Tom_In_Cincy]

There is a certain amount of "automatic" respect that you have to give a person, just for being in the position of competing.
Its like a police officer.. you have to give the badge and uniform a certain amount of "respect" if for no other reason.. they have a gun and you don't.
Respect the game, the opponent and the competition.. not too much to ask of any player.. IMO

[Rod]

Hi Melanie, I remember you from 2 or 3 years ago. I believe you went to a pool school, The monk if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway I think there should be a certain amount of respect
given to anyone in this game or any other for that matter.
The rude people have a way of making it less fun to play
and does little for the sport.
I do think along the same line as you though, if they
don't care or choose to ignore a person, then it can
come back to haunt them. It's probably just a hustle
to distract her, and it sounds like she lets that stuff
get under her skin. Many people are distracted by some
very insignificant things that happen during a game.
I've always felt my concentration must be weak to let
any small occurrences bother me. She doesn't have to
figure out what people do or think, just play the game.
That stuff is out of her control anyway, and no need
to dwell on small issues which sounds like she has inflated.
I didn't read the article, but by your description thats
my opinion. Good to see you back, and yes the appearance
of the board has changed. Its 1 week old.

Rod

It's good to be back - I enjoy getting the variety of perspectives. Yes, I was involved in The Monk seminar - set one up here in Michigan, actually. It was pretty successful, very educational, and alot of fun.

The mental game (as we all know) is probably one of the hardest aspects to capture. I read or heard somewhere, and totally believe that you can't be sharked unless you allow yourself to be.

I think the kind of respect you refer to is simply respect for another human being, and I agree...that's just plain good manners. But some people don't have them. To let that irritate you affects your game.