Here ya go Fats. A new hobby for you.
Put your constant jerking off to good use.
Perhaps go to Virginia and open a store front as a rebellious statement.
Semen Cocktails: New Cookbook, 'Semenology,' Provides Recipes, Storage Tips And More
We've seen some strange food trends in our day. But this one absolutely, positively, beyond any shadow of a doubt, takes the cake.
In his new book "Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook," Bay Area author Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer details the benefits of bartending with, you guessed it, human semen.
A follow-up to his first book, "Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes," "Semenology" is what Photenhauer describes as "the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits."
In the book, Photenhauer provides semen storage and flavor enhancement tips, as well as plenty of deliciously titled recipes like the Macho Mojito, the Slightly Saltier Caviar and the Galliano Cum Shot. (We couldn't make this stuff up.)
Photenhauer argues that the complexities of semen could be compared to those in wine or cheese, and that the ingredient adds a special "personal touch."
"People eat all kinds of weird stuff," Photenhauer told SF Weekly's Anna Roth in an interview. "Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is…at least it's fresh and you know who the producer is."
However, in his interview with the Weekly, Photenhauer was sure to cite the precautions.
"I would never eat or drink semen, cooked or otherwise, from someone I wouldn’t be willing to have sex with," he said.
Bottoms up, everyone!