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Thread: You might be a conservative if...

  1. #1
    Senior Member DiabloViejo's Avatar
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    You might be a conservative if...

    You might be a conservative if...

    • Your motto is “Save a fetus, starve a child”

    • You vote for the party that has created the world’s largest and most expensive military… and you think you can defeat that military with just your AK-47

    • You are pro-life… until the life in question is born. Then you are pro-starving-to-death

    • You think the best way to benefit society as a whole is to throw a feast for the rich then let the crumbs trickle down to everyone else

    • You think public transportation is a felony in your state

    • You despise handouts… except when they are to multi-billion-dollar corporations

    • You believe that outsourcing education to private industry will produce more educated people. After all, outsourcing prisons to private industry has produced more inmates per capita than in any other country in the world

    • You fantasize about being a real life action hero but you are too much of a wussy to leave your house without your gun

    • You are afraid Obama and his communist thugs will redistribute your single-wide trailer

    • You’ve ever told someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps when they don’t even have shoes

    • When a political candidate you don’t like gets elected you decide to “SUCDEE” from The Union

    • You are barely literate and you vote to cut funding for public education

    • You believe that individuals are responsible for their own outcomes… unless it’s YOUR life that sucks. Then you blame the government, taxes, “the liberal media”, “liberal indoctrination” in schools and universities, immigrants, minorities, gays, non-Christians, removal of prayer from school, government regulations… anything and everything except your own choices

    • You want the government to get it’s grubby hands out of your Medicare and Social Security

    • You believe in states’ rights… unless a state decides to legalize gay marriage or pot smoking. Then you want the federal government to exercise its authority immediately

    • Everyone is entitled to worship your god as they please

    • You want to stop teaching high school kids about safe sex, stop women from accessing contraception or getting abortions, and stop all government aid to women who have children they cannot support

    • You think thaat today’s schools are nothing but liberal indoctrination centers. They should instead become ULTRA-CONSERVATIVE indoctrination centers

    • You claim the news media has a hidden liberal bias so you turn to news media with a stated conservative bias


  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiabloViejo View Post
    You might be a conservative if...

    • Your motto is “Save a fetus, starve a child”

    • You vote for the party that has created the world’s largest and most expensive military… and you think you can defeat that military with just your AK-47

    • You are pro-life… until the life in question is born. Then you are pro-starving-to-death

    • You think the best way to benefit society as a whole is to throw a feast for the rich then let the crumbs trickle down to everyone else

    • You think public transportation is a felony in your state

    • You despise handouts… except when they are to multi-billion-dollar corporations

    • You believe that outsourcing education to private industry will produce more educated people. After all, outsourcing prisons to private industry has produced more inmates per capita than in any other country in the world

    • You fantasize about being a real life action hero but you are too much of a wussy to leave your house without your gun

    • You are afraid Obama and his communist thugs will redistribute your single-wide trailer

    • You’ve ever told someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps when they don’t even have shoes

    • When a political candidate you don’t like gets elected you decide to “SUCDEE” from The Union

    • You are barely literate and you vote to cut funding for public education

    • You believe that individuals are responsible for their own outcomes… unless it’s YOUR life that sucks. Then you blame the government, taxes, “the liberal media”, “liberal indoctrination” in schools and universities, immigrants, minorities, gays, non-Christians, removal of prayer from school, government regulations… anything and everything except your own choices

    • You want the government to get it’s grubby hands out of your Medicare and Social Security

    • You believe in states’ rights… unless a state decides to legalize gay marriage or pot smoking. Then you want the federal government to exercise its authority immediately

    • Everyone is entitled to worship your god as they please

    • You want to stop teaching high school kids about safe sex, stop women from accessing contraception or getting abortions, and stop all government aid to women who have children they cannot support

    • You think thaat today’s schools are nothing but liberal indoctrination centers. They should instead become ULTRA-CONSERVATIVE indoctrination centers

    • You claim the news media has a hidden liberal bias so you turn to news media with a stated conservative bias
    So you believe there are no conservatives.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vladimir Ulyanov View Post
    So you believe there are no conservatives.

    You certainly arent one! tea party all the way, Vladlarry.
    May God bless all of you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hondo View Post
    You certainly arent one! tea party all the way, Vladlarry.
    You might be a conservative if ... you weren't a Stalinist troll.

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    Im more conservative than you, Larry.
    May God bless all of you.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by hondo View Post
    Im more conservative than you, Larry.
    I just notice again you are from West Virginia home of great Stalinist a Robert Byrd. No doubt he is hero to you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vladimir Ulyanov View Post
    I just notice again you are from West Virginia home of great Stalinist a Robert Byrd. No doubt he is hero to you.
    Only one poster goes on and on about Byrd. Larry W. Wilson, Dayton, Ohio. Hmmm.
    May God bless all of you.

  8. #8
    Senior Member DiabloViejo's Avatar
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    You might be a conservative if …(part 2)


    • A rich person who makes $10 million a year would lose his/her incentive to make money if s/he were forced to pay an extra $500,000 a year in taxes

    • You claim to be an independent but your political beliefs consist entirely of Fox News talking points

    • You think your white privilege is a liberal myth

    • Global warming is a hoax… and nature is in on the hoax with all its catastrophic floods, extremely prolonged droughts, enormous wildfires, super storms, and tornadoes occurring in places where they’ve never occurred before

    • You froth at the mouth about how today’s immigrants won’t obey our laws, assimilate to our culture, or generally contribute to our society. You conveniently forget that people said the same thing about your great-grandparents.

    • Your millionaire father put you through an elite university and bought you a Lexus SUV to drive as your college car. You claim that people who haven’t achieved as much as you don’t work as hard as you do.

    • People who are less educated than you and/or make less money than you are lazy. People who are better educated than you and/or make more money than you are ‘elitist”

    • The phrase “moral fabric of society” makes sense to you

    • Gay marriage would ruin the sanctity of your fourth marriage

    • Your father is a self-employed entrepreneur, so he cannot get health insurance from his employer. He tells you that he’s glad Obamacare passed because ever since he had his heart attack insurance companies kept turning him down. But now, thanks to Obamacare, he can finally have health insurance. You respond TO YOUR OWN FATHER that if insurance companies can’t turn people away based on pre-existing conditions it’s harder for them to make a profit.

    • You can call the country where incarceration rate is the highest in the world, religion dictates public policy, and almost all media are owned by five giant corporations “the land of the free” and keep a straight face

    • When Curious George Bush was President you called anyone who disagreed with him un-patriotic and un-American, and said that s/he should leave the country. A year later you were calling Barack Obama a dictator and far worse

    • Higher taxes means less money for you but spending even less on our failing education system and crumbling infrastructure means more money for you

    • You ruined the economy with your real estate speculation so that it’s now hard for recent college grads to get jobs. You voted for politicians who cut funding for higher education under the guise of “reducing wasteful government spending” so that recent college grads now have to pay hundreds of dollars a month in student loans. You grumble how “kids these days” are all lazy unmotivated moochers because they live at home well into their 20s and need to stay on their parents’ health insurance until they are 26


  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiabloViejo View Post
    You might be a conservative if …(part 2)


    • A rich person who makes $10 million a year would lose his/her incentive to make money if s/he were forced to pay an extra $500,000 a year in taxes

    • You claim to be an independent but your political beliefs consist entirely of Fox News talking points

    • You think your white privilege is a liberal myth

    • Global warming is a hoax… and nature is in on the hoax with all its catastrophic floods, extremely prolonged droughts, enormous wildfires, super storms, and tornadoes occurring in places where they’ve never occurred before

    • You froth at the mouth about how today’s immigrants won’t obey our laws, assimilate to our culture, or generally contribute to our society. You conveniently forget that people said the same thing about your great-grandparents.

    • Your millionaire father put you through an elite university and bought you a Lexus SUV to drive as your college car. You claim that people who haven’t achieved as much as you don’t work as hard as you do.

    • People who are less educated than you and/or make less money than you are lazy. People who are better educated than you and/or make more money than you are ‘elitist”

    • The phrase “moral fabric of society” makes sense to you

    • Gay marriage would ruin the sanctity of your fourth marriage

    • Your father is a self-employed entrepreneur, so he cannot get health insurance from his employer. He tells you that he’s glad Obamacare passed because ever since he had his heart attack insurance companies kept turning him down. But now, thanks to Obamacare, he can finally have health insurance. You respond TO YOUR OWN FATHER that if insurance companies can’t turn people away based on pre-existing conditions it’s harder for them to make a profit.

    • You can call the country where incarceration rate is the highest in the world, religion dictates public policy, and almost all media are owned by five giant corporations “the land of the free” and keep a straight face

    • When Curious George Bush was President you called anyone who disagreed with him un-patriotic and un-American, and said that s/he should leave the country. A year later you were calling Barack Obama a dictator and far worse

    • Higher taxes means less money for you but spending even less on our failing education system and crumbling infrastructure means more money for you

    • You ruined the economy with your real estate speculation so that it’s now hard for recent college grads to get jobs. You voted for politicians who cut funding for higher education under the guise of “reducing wasteful government spending” so that recent college grads now have to pay hundreds of dollars a month in student loans. You grumble how “kids these days” are all lazy unmotivated moochers because they live at home well into their 20s and need to stay on their parents’ health insurance until they are 26
    Why are you picking on hondo?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by hondo View Post
    Only one poster goes on and on about Byrd. Larry W. Wilson, Dayton, Ohio. Hmmm.
    So mentioning Byrd is going on about him? You seem to imagine enemy everywhere. Are you medicated for these psychoses?

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