So, Republicans Want to Leave the United States….
May 4, 2013
By Allen Clifton
For the last 4 years all I’ve heard from many Republicans was how they want to leave this country, because it’s turning into a “haven for socialism.”
According to many of the comments I’ve seen coming from Republicans, quite a few are planning to flee the country to escape the socialist terror of a country that would allow same-sex marriage, wants socialized health care, wants to ensure the wealthy pay higher taxes than middle class Americans, wants sensible gun regulations and seeks to keep religion out of our government.
As someone who isn’t a Republican, I highly encourage their exodus. Hell, I’ll start a foundation that raises money to ship these people first class anywhere they want to go.
There’s just one problem, where the hell would they go?
I, as well as millions of other liberals, would love to see these people leave the United States.
But first, I would love these Republicans to list us one country on this planet that is a combination of all of the following:
- Doesn’t support same-sex marriage or unions
- Allows unregulated gun ownership
- Has no form of socialized health care
- Is run by a capitalistic theocracy
- Pays little or no taxes
- Has a very small government
And once they do find this nation (might I suggest Somalia) I promise liberals across the United States will gladly start a foundation that raises money to send their asses there on a first class red eye flight within 24 hours. Well, most of the way first class anyway. With low taxes and small government I don’t think Somalia has the airports and travel industry available for a non-stop first class flight for these future Somalians. But I’m sure the numerous warlords throughout the country have some kind of transportation system in place if they join up with them. Freedom and warlords, just think of all the guns they’ll have access to.
So please, from liberals everywhere, go ahead and leave.
After all, what would this country look like without the “great” education and economic systems such as those in Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Louisiana and Arkansas.
In fact, if every far right-wing Republican citizen left the United States, do you know what would happen?
- Infant mortality rates would improve
- Average life expectancy would increase
- Education scores would rise
- Obesity rates would drop
- Median family income would increase
- Divorce rates would drop (yes, many Republican states lead the nation in divorce)
- The percentage of Americans living below the poverty line would drastically shrink
- Our deficits would instantly be reduced, as most “strongly Republican” states take in more federal dollars than they pay out
So by all means, leave. Again, I’m sure millions of liberals will pay for the mass conservative relocation to this “paradise of freedom.”
But again, the only question I have is— just where the hell would you go?