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Thread: Holy Shit.

  1. #1
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    Holy Shit.

    Terry Firma......
    ..........Scientists have discovered that 86 per cent of water samples from holy sources contain faecal matter.
    Austrian researchers also found that church fonts contain high levels of bacteria and that none of the holy springs they studied could be considered safe for drinking from.
    Researchers at the Institute of Hygiene and Applied Immunology at the Medical University of Vienna took water samples from 21 holy springs in Austria, and from 18 fonts in Viennese churches. The results are, well, pretty shitty.
    They found that in every millilitre of holy water there were up to 62 million bacteria. They also found that the busier the church, the more bacteria it tended to have in its font.
    The study also revealed that holy springs contain not only faecal contamination with E coli bacteria and enterococci, but also Campylobacter, which can cause inflammatory diarrhoea.
    I guess it still beats drinking sewage from the base of a Jesus statue, as these Indian believers eagerly did.

  2. #2
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    Not surprizing -- after all, the The Holey Bible iz full of shit.
    mac.

  3. #3
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    Holy Water Dispensers Prevent Spread Of Disease
    Author: Rachel Richmond Published: November 11, 2009 at 11:09 pm
    The public at large recognizes that “ma’am always said to make sure you wash your hands,” or “never double dip” in order to stay healthy. The sign of the times has vastly changed in order to maintain good health, and dipping into the holy water is about to become taboo.

    Creative thinking to stay healthy is well on the rise. The issue of passing germs via personal contact, shaking hands, might lead to a revolution of bowing the head slightly to acknowledge people. For now, the dispenser concept, much like the ones found in a restroom, is being used by the church for people to obtain their holy water. What an incredible idea for recycling technology.

  4. #4
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    Celph Titled – Primo's Four Course Meal Lyrics............
    [Verse 4]
    The harder I hit 'em, nigga, the better they know
    Call up the reverend and we bringin' holy shit to your show
    These holy clips leave you wholly split and every ho that I hit
    Get baptized in holy water comin' out the hole in my dick
    I stay holdin' my dick, you thought I wasn't one of them
    Spittin' phlegm on Bibles in God's crib right in front of Him
    I'm Iceberg, but not Slim
    More like the type of shit that sunk the Titanic
    Done irreversible damage
    There's no recovery possible, no nurses, no hospitals
    No stuffed bears and get well cards, just Celph spittin' Hell's bars
    You grew up on a farm with the Amish gettin' they goats from
    I'm from the dirty south, but I'm clean so call me soap scum
    I'll sell the same shit twice, double dip it and re-up
    I ain't married to this rap game, we ain't signin' a prenup
    You up late watchin' raunchy cable, and I'mma creep behind your couch
    And crack ya motherfuckin' skull on the coffee tabAnnotatele

  5. #5
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    Fake Holy Water Problem
    on: March 10, 2011, 09:53:AM

    I believe Holy Water to be a very important sacramental, but I have doubts about whether or not the “Holy Water” I obtain from churches is validly “Holy”. Here is my problem, and I would invite those more knowledgeable than myself to correct me if I err (frankly, I really want to be wrong here).

    First, in order to properly bless Holy Water, a Priest or Deacon must use real water (not distilled), meaning that it must have some natural mineral contents. Impurities like those found in fluoridated tap water are OK.

    Next, the Priest or Deacon must create exorcized salt. Ideally, pure sea salt crystals are used, but iodized table salt is still valid. The ritual for blessing (exorcizing) salt is performed.

    Next, the water is blessed (again, according to the ritual) and some of the exorcized salt is added to it.

    Now here’s my real problem: I’m pretty sure this is almost never done. Here’s what I have seen happen instead:

    1. If asked to bless water to make it holy water the Priest simply makes a quick sign of the cross over it. Nothing is said.

    Or:

    2. No blessing happens at all. I have seen lay assistance take the removable holy water font inserts and fill them from the tap, then put them back. Ditto for the holy water canteen the faithful can use to take water away. Oh, that water used for baptisms in the baptismal font? Same.

    I use Holy Water a lot, often to drink to help me in my fight against cancer. Sometimes, I encounter excellent priests who will take a few moments to bless some bottled mineral water I bring along with salt I supply. Other times, they refuse. One even told me it was useless to bless water because “all water is already holy.”

    Am I wrong here? Perhaps tap water, once it is poured into something Holy like a font or the church canteen, simply becomes the blessed sacramental?

    What about the current practice – is a simply sign of the cross made by the priest over plain water (i.e. no exorcized salt) sufficient to bless water and create the sacramental known as Holy Water? Must the ritual be used? Is there a NO ritual that is simpler?

    Sorry to trouble folks, but I am a little bit angry that I should even have to doubt. I would have thought getting Holy Water from a Catholic church ought to be good enough – that I could simply trust that it was indeed Holy Water

  6. #6
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    I think you're worrying to much. Confecting holy water is not the same as confecting the eucharist. Holy water is merely a blessed item. I'm also not sure about the distilled water thing, but I don't see why distilled water can't receive a priest's blessing any more than other water, a book, a crucifix, etc. In the byzantine rite, holy water is only blessed on theophany. No salt is used, exorcised or not, but there is a service of blessing the waters, the priest will then dip a cross into the water and pour some blessed oil, and that is where we get our holy water from. The use of salt is merely a particular of the Roman rite form of blessing, not a necessary component. Sacraments and sacramentals aren't magic, they're not inherently dependant upon an exact set of words and phrases, but rather the intent of the priest and a few key words are necessary. I don't think you have anything to worry about if you're certain a priest at least had right intent and at least said 'i bless this water.'

  7. #7
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    Yet another gift from God thrown out like yesterday's news. It's their loss. And it's your loss as well Melkite, if you think of it as no big deal. In the Roman Rite, exorcised salt is used. And that's the way it should be. They do it that way for a reason. If your Rite doesn't, fine, but ours does. Holy Water is a sacramental. It aids us in getting closer to God. We bless our homes with it, the dying are blessed with it, our children are blessed with it, we send demons screaming away with it. It means something. And if they've obliterated that Rite, then shame on them. That's one more step away from Catholicism. We need fewer of those and more that bring us closer to Him. We should honor His gifts, not throw them out like they mean nothing. To do so is a slap in the face to God Himself. Yes, there are bigger fish to fry, but we have to hold on to the small ones as well, lest we starve.

  8. #8
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    Dear Dymphna17, I like very much what you have said.
    For the past few months, I have used Holy Water gotten from my local novus ordo church. The other night I used Holy Water that I had been saving for an "emergency" that had been blessed using the old blessing.
    There is a difference.

  9. #9
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    Quote from: dymphna17
    Yet another gift from God thrown out like yesterday's news. It's their loss. And it's your loss as well Melkite, if you think of it as no big deal. In the Roman Rite, exorcised salt is used. And that's the way it should be. They do it that way for a reason. If your Rite doesn't, fine, but ours does. Holy Water is a sacramental. It aids us in getting closer to God. We bless our homes with it, the dying are blessed with it, our children are blessed with it, we send demons screaming away with it. It means something. And if they've obliterated that Rite, then shame on them. That's one more step away from Catholicism. We need fewer of those and more that bring us closer to Him. We should honor His gifts, not throw them out like they mean nothing. To do so is a slap in the face to God Himself. Yes, there are bigger fish to fry, but we have to hold on to the small ones as well, lest we starve.


    Good grief, sensationalist much? All I was saying is that salt isn't necessary for holy water to be holy. If it were, then the Eastern churches wouldn't have any holy water. And cut the "well, you can do it your way, but Roman is better" bs. Our holy water is just as effective as yours. The only point I was trying to make is that the OP shouldn't become scrupulous and fearful that holy water is inneffective just because exorcised salt isn't used. As long as the priest blessed it with the intent to bless it, it's just as holy as traditionally blessed holy water. The salt and the old rite blessing doesn't make it "more powerful." At that point, you're not being Catholic anymore, you're being superstitious.

  10. #10
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    I heard someone say on Wednesday that if the Holy Water is running low, but there's still some there, you (as in, anyone) can fill the Holy Water font with tap water and the remaining Holy Water makes the newly added water into Holy Water, no additional blessing or anything needed. Can anyone confirm or deny?

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