TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE A LIBERTARIAN:
1. You think public roads should be replaced with toll booths because taxes are coercion but being forced to pay a dollar every time you make a right turn is freedom!
2. You not only signed up for the Ron Paul Newsletter and his youtube channel, but you also call his 1-900 number.
3. You are between the ages of 15-25, angry, white, male and have a bad haircut. You are a terminal virgin and live at home with your parents in a gated community. Your goal in life is to be a "Blogger" or a professional League of Legends player. You can't wait until Anarchy so you can shoot people.
4. Due to excessive hazing and ridicule that you weren't man enough, you decided to drop out of the Origami Club in High School and join the Libertarian Party.
5. Your personal ad reads: "Seeking Anybody." and zero replies.
6. Your mother knows what kind of Hot Pockets you like most and stockpiles them for you while you rage against the Statists on the Internet.
7. You declare yourself a "Constitutional Defender" and a champion of State's Rights - but hate all Statists - because you have no idea that term applies to self-proclaimed Constitutional Defenders and champions of State's Rights
8. You don't own a business, but if you did - you want the freedom to kick out the minorities of your choosing because you think that is "Freedom". You do not think it's against freedom when because of someone's skin color or gender they are forbidden access to basic goods and services in this country.
9. You are actually a Republican and a Billionaire.
10. The last time you were invited to a party, you were grooving to the lyric, "Put your right foot in, take your right foot out."