LET THEM EAT MYSTERY MEAT
NOW WINGNUTS FURIOUS STATE DINNER SERVED FOOD
by DOKTOR ZOOM
February 13, 2014
Those damned Obamas with their dogs eating imaginary steak off bone china (get it???) and their fancy-schmancy designer frocks! Something must be done to bring their wild living down to earth, because they got all fancied up for a formal state dinner for that man from Frenchietown, just like every other president ever, but that doesn’t count because this is Wookiee Marie Antoinette and the Kenyan Usurper we’re talking about here. What’s worse, you may have heard about Fat Ol’ Mooseshelle’s agenda of starving children by forcing them to eat a carrot now and then.
Fortunately, Illinois congresstaint Rodney Davis has introduced a bill to force the Obamas to stop being such hypocrites. His “School Nutrition Fairness Act” would require all official White House meals to conform to the same USDA guidelines that school lunch and breakfast programs follow. Because if the Obamas think it’s OK to mandate nutritional guidelines, they had damn well better follow the same rules themselves. It is only fair! If this bill picks up support, Mr. Obama will also be required to trade his armored limousine for a yellow school bus.
But really, Mr. Davis is simply Making A Point: His bill is intended
“to make sure this Administration is aware of the real-life impact their regulations are having on kids who are going hungry and our smaller school districts who are struggling to keep up with the increased costs.”Yep, nothing says “we are a serious nation” like pretending that if visiting heads of state are not fed exactly like 4th graders in Muncie, then the president is a hypocrite. And we’re quite certain that Rep. Davis’s poutrage has nothing to do with two of his top five industrial funders being the food & beverage industry and the “Agricultural Services/Products” industry. The fact that McDonald’s is his top individual corporate contributor probably is unrelated, too. He just cares about the kids.
Still, nice try at pretend populist outrage, Rep. Davis. We liked this completely rational point you make:
The Washington Times reported that the meal served to guests at Tuesday’s dinner ran an estimated 2,500 calories, “which is almost three times as much as what the first lady and the USDA allow our school kids to eat in the school lunch program,” Davis said. It’s “the height of hypocrisy.”On the other hand, at least we can be glad that Davis isn’t insisting that kids be required to wear black tie and be served “dry-aged ribeye beef served with blue cheese, 12 varieties of potatoes and quail eggs” for every school lunch.