All around the US today Republicans experienced a mass simultaneous orgasm upon hearing the news of Russia's successful test of the new Topol RS-RM12 intercontinental ballistic missile. Cheers for Russian dictator and would be restorer of the old Soviet Union Vladimir Putin went up amidsts much groaning, twisting, moaning, and gyrating. One local tea party republican woman was heard to exclaim "Oh Vlad baby do us with your big fat missile..oh yeah baby, do it!" Rudy Giuliani gushed over the launch saying "See, that's a real man and a real patriot, he got that big hard missile erect and shot off in no time! We would all do well if only Obama were not a commie socialist weakling unlike that handsome and virile Comrade Putin!"

Topol RS-RM 12 during critical "erection" phase.