"I'm gonna throw this guy a fundraiser! He is exactly what we need in a representative, someone who isn't afraid to take from the masses and only answers to the one who owns him."-- Vlad "The Anti-Stalinist" Ulyanov (AKA-- Dub, AKA-- LWW, AKA-- S*** for brains.)

Rabid Dog Briefly Mistaken for Tea Party Candidate

Andy Borowitz
Via Facebook

JEFFERSON CITY, MO — A rabid Doberman pinscher jumped on stage at a Tea Party rally in Missouri on the Fourth of July and barked at the crowd for nearly twenty minutes before people realized he was not a candidate. The Doberman's canine identity finally became clear when he lunged at a man in the front row and wrested a hamburger from his right hand, taking two of the man's fingers with it. Gwendolene Thomason, 42, a Tea Party supporter from Jefferson City, held out hope that, dog or no, the Doberman might consider running for office at some point. "I liked the way he bit off that guy's hand, and the way he did his business in the middle of the stage," she said. "We need more of that in Washington."