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Thread: things to ponder

  1. #1
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    things to ponder

    A little something for your morning smile
    >
    >
    > If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
    > enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
    > >(Hardly seems worth it.)
    >
    >
    >
    > If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
    produced
    > to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)
    > The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
    > squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
    > A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    > A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
    > death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
    > Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try
    > this at home...... maybe at work.)
    > The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
    > body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey,
    I'm
    > home. What the....?!")
    >
    >
    > The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
    > length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig.. can you imagine??)
    > The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the
    > bottom of a pond?)
    > Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next
    > life...quality over quantity)
    > Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.
    > Federal Government gave a $5 million grant to find this out.)
    > The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........)
    > Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
    > people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
    > Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a
    > good thing....)
    > A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure
    > that out?)
    > An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
    > Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
    > Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
    > Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What
    > about that pig??)

    nAz 2012 GOP presidential candidate



  2. #2
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    Re: things to ponder

    bump

    nAz 2012 GOP presidential candidate



  3. #3
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    Re: things to ponder

    "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."
    I've been to bed with a few pigs, but never knew this. I usually left after 4 or 5 minutes.

  4. #4
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    Re: things to ponder

    LMAO! [img]/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    nAz 2012 GOP presidential candidate



  5. #5
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    Re: things to ponder

    <blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."<hr /></blockquote>
    Whoa baby! I wonder how long it takes them to reach the Big O.
    I Shoot Like A Girl.
    Damn Good.
    Ah f*&%it!

  6. #6
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    Re: things to ponder

    <blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."
    I've been to bed with a few pigs, but never knew this. I usually left after 4 or 5 minutes. <hr /></blockquote>

    Required reading for every high-school kid - Warning signs from your mom's description that her "best friend's sweet daughter" will be a pig:

    1) She has a wonderful personality
    2) Great little cook
    3) Makes ALL of her own clothes
    4) The girls just love her

    I'm sure there are more, but the above four should be enough to say "run like hell", "double coyote" (that's where, later in the day, you chew your remaining arm off because you know she'll be looking for a one-armed man) [img]/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    SpiderMan
    "If it's yellow and smells bad, it must be nine-ball. Or a diaper (or a Frenchman)."

  7. #7
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    Re: things to ponder

    About the pig. Does the 30 minute rule apply to both genders or just one? If just one, which one? And finally, if it applies to males, can you imagine the size of that prostate?!!! [img]/ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

  8. #8
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    Re: things to ponder

    <blockquote><font class="small">Quote SpiderMan:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."
    I've been to bed with a few pigs, but never knew this. I usually left after 4 or 5 minutes. <hr /></blockquote>

    Required reading for every high-school kid - Warning signs from your mom's description that her "best friend's sweet daughter" will be a pig:

    1) She has a wonderful personality
    2) Great little cook
    3) Makes ALL of her own clothes
    4) The girls just love her

    I'm sure there are more, but the above four should be enough to say "run like hell", "double coyote" (that's where, later in the day, you chew your remaining arm off because you know she'll be looking for a one-armed man) [img]/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    SpiderMan <hr /></blockquote>

    Don't forget the catch all..Well, she's cute. I once had a friend talk me into a blind date who was "real cute". When she answered the door she faced two feet to my right and said I'm pleased to meet you. She really was blind.

  9. #9
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    Re: things to ponder

    <blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."<hr /></blockquote>
    Whoa baby! I wonder how long it takes them to reach the Big O. <hr /></blockquote>

    Lets find out Friday. [img]/ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

    My next life i plan on coming back as a full fledge pig, or a republican. [img]/ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    nAz 2012 GOP presidential candidate



  10. #10
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    Re: things to ponder

    "wonder how long.."
    Who cares? That's their problem, I had already solved mine...

    Using a golf analogy...if the three losers that the starter has put you out with...are still putting for double-bogies on the 18th ...and you've already holed out....why stick around?

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