Test for Potential Puppy Owners
This is a test to determine if people are truly ready for a dog. They will be stressed to every limit, with little mercy shown. If the Potential Puppy Owner passes, they will be given a license to start learning about the breed of their choice. Hereinafter the Potential Puppy Owner will be
referred as PPO.
Under no circumstances will physical force, yelling, cursing, or threatening will be used. Protective padding, or soil proof clothes of anysort are NOT permitted.
Small wounds and scratches will be handled in a blase manner. Washing water, and a bandage will be distributed to each PPO.
Tests will be held in a variety of environments. From crowded interiors to muddy fields, to brush. PPO must enter all environments with a happy face.PPO will only have one set of clothes permitted.
If at any time, they are seen wiping off dog hair or saliva, they will fail.
Test PPO must control a highly stimulated 10 month old male German Shepherd puppy. PPO must be able to calm down the dog into a down position in 2 minutes. Only a flat buckle collar and nylon lead will be issued.
PPO must stand in between a 14 month old Labrador Retriever puppy and a field. The handler of the puppy will then throw a ball directly in the path of the
PPO. PPO must stand their ground and take their clobbering in good nature.
PPO must serve dinner to six Boxer puppies. The puppies will be no older than six months and no younger than four months. PPO must not spill the food and the puppies will not be held in any stay position.
PPO must quiet either four Shetland Sheepdogs, or six Pomeranians when the doorbell rings. PPO has two minutes and all dogs will be off lead. The dogs must have been handled previously by a breeder immune to the noise, and living in the middle of nowhere.
PPO must hold their ground with 10 Jack Russell Terriers chasing a animal that they see as prey. PPO must hold their leashes and not move more than 6 inches. No corrections will be issued, but PPO is welcome to try anddistract them.
PPO Must hold their ground with 2 Great Danes on ice. They may not move more than 100 ft.
PPO Must play with a male Newfoundland after the dog has been swimming in a pond. They must attempt to dry themselves off with a tea towel. At no time,will the PPO react disgusted.
PPO Must leave two huskies alone with their home for 3 hours uncrated. The dogs will not be kept in a room where any posed danger to themselves is prominent. PPO must not loose temper with the dogs. PPO may cry however.
PPO Must groom an adult male Collie blowing coat completely within 25 minutes. Eyes, Nails, Paws, Ears, Teeth and Coat. The dog will be recently bathed to give PPO a good chance.
PPO must be introduced into a pack of Beagles ready for a hunt, without cringing at the noise.
PPO will navigate through 10 small dogs without stepping on one.
PPO must pass an agility course.
PPO must vow to love, train, care and nurture their dogs for the rest of
the dog's life.
PPO must accept that each and every dog is an individual which needs to live in a pack.
PPO must vow to educate themselves about their breed of choice and the requirements expected.
Furthermore the PPO must manage to keep good humored and remember that for every insane, tough, bad moments, there will always be a hundred more good ones.
PPO must try to be the person their dog thinks they are.
-- Author Unknown